New Theme for 2018

Hi! It is me again. I hope you had a blast this holiday season in spite your busy schedules. Where I am right now, we already had a countdown twelve hours ago. I had fun.

As I face another year, this also means a new theme for my blog as you can see in my header. It is a new concept conceived in the name of creativity. And so a new journey to embark--hoping for more good things to come. If you have read my post about my plan of having this year's blog--a journey to prose and poems, then this will not at surprise you at all. Let us all welcome with gladness and gratefulness the year 2018 and leaves the previous one with the same attitude. Let me join you in celebration--10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Happiest New Year!

See you very soon!

My Christmas & New Year's Message

Although I still have a few or more things to blog about, but I am afraid won't be able to post them because I am traveling this time--a winter-season break. I want to enjoy this rest and recreation than think a lot not getting my hands on to work for the matter. So I have decided to end my entries for this year's theme--Behind Every Journey--but not my literal journey of course. I am not taking my laptop with me. Being able to blog last night and today is a miracle. The place I am staying for now has a desktop for guests to use. Sad to say, I will not be staying here longer. And if in any case I would pop up again--in the middle of nowhere, that would mean someone could have been lent me a computer to use.

Before my silence and absence form the net happens, let me bring my Christmas message and so my New Year's wish to your homes, doors, and hearts. For this holiday season, I bring you a wonderful message of love that will soothe your aching hearts, peace that will transcend all your confused minds, joy that will lift up your dying spirits, and hope that will help you understand life is beautiful still after all. For another year that will soon to come, I wish you abundance, health, and happiness to last your whole life long. Have a blessed Christmas and a joyful New Year! God bless everyone!

      

Christmas Decors

I am so immersed in countries where Christmas isn't that anticipated much (except for some enthusiasts like me), but this doesn't stop me from being effusive about it. You can see with the way I show it, I think--in joyful celebration. A decade ago, I started my own tradition to walk around downtown Saigon like a few days before Christmas. I did that just to take photos of the decorations--hints and symbols in all sizes, shapes, colors, styles, and motifs. It made me feel home although I was miles and miles away from my family and friends. I still keep this annual hobby to this day. It helps and shoos homesickness away.

Yesterday, I did it even earlier. But I had to keep my phone in silent mode not to hear those annoying clicks. The city isn't that much filled yet with decors to behold, and so crowds to endure though. Usually, it happens a week before Noel. And so I had the whole time enjoying, in awe, looking at the beautiful scenery at the moment. After all, what I needed is a hint one day at a time. It doesn't matter whether or not it is grandeur. Will I go through the hustle and bustle of the city in a few days' time only to get more shots? Perhaps or perhaps not. I don't know. Wish I was still ten years younger. Anyway, the picture below is my favorite this season so far--it is so homey.

Freebies

Good Morning! Mister Sun didn't show up at the park today left the place a bit gloomy. I woke up early just to see a beautiful sunrise and to feel at least the warmth it could have given me, but it was the irony instead--not even a sign of a silver lining--only the coldness of the wind that chilled my entire body. I fancy eating breakfast at the park aside from doing exercise.

Today, I did it again after countless attempts. And I will be doing this for the rest of the remaining mornings of this year. Nature serves best and I am so glad how these people here preserve their parks beautifully, green and clean. Thank you God for the freebies of traveling when I do not have to leave an empty pocket. 

  

The Park

This park is located at the heart of Saigon, in the First District of the city has been my favorite for almost two decades now. I spent many times right here writing my journals, my reflection papers in grad schools, goals for the year, and some creative planning for work. I still do such habit to this day even though  journaling  seems out-of-date in this highly sophisticated realm and era. Seeing myself here again reminds me of the past. It's just so beautiful how memory after another keeps flashing before me. There is an endless nostalgia in the air. Thank You, God, for the gift of rest and undeserved grace. 

I don't remember how many times I've been here in the span of eighteen years, and how many entries/write-ups/articles I thought of, conceptualized, and wrote down as I took advantage of the place itself. Of course, God's creation is always amazing. And for people who love natures--of all kinds, a park is always the perfect place to enjoy--peacefully and relaxed--at least the way I see it.

  

Waterbus

Of course, my best friend and I really love spur-of-the-moment decisions like we usually do. Tonight we had another one we thought would be fun--but a failure. As soon as I arrived in Saigon from Cambodia just this afternoon, he messaged me that we should try this water-bus ride which has been operating in the city for the past two weeks. There we went in hopes of something unusual--to get on a boat--the last trip at six in the evening. But we missed the ride. The boat had already left five minutes ago. Haiist! Well, there was another plan in stored for us. Thankful still to have spent the whole four hours with my best friend. Till next time, I mean... we'll do it again on the weekend. 

Meanwhile, we had to plan again what to do next since we had the time in our hands--no need to rush things out. Sitting on the dock of the huge river with a cup of cold tea in our hands and tiny slices of cakes to enjoy, the conversation was just perfect. Not much to catch up actually because I was here over a month ago. Christmas songs in the air helped grace the ambiance. Then we went to the First District for a bowl of noodles--not just noodles--it is the famous  that this alley can offer and so yummy to devour. After that, we drove around the city all the way to the Seventh District to get another cup of special tea. It was worth missing the water bus still--it was worth the night beating up the traffic. Oh, what a night!  

Other Roles

For the most part of my existence as an educator (or as a mentor if you prefer), I don't normally embrace one role alone--restricting myself only as a teacher. Some days, I could be a father--that's when I have come to know that parenting doesn't take a biological affinity or restrained by family constitution--it is simply a decision to bless and touch lives. There were days, and years to many, that I have become my learners' friend although cultural and age issues are undeniably in constant protest. But I believe that God gave me them as friends to cherish eternally as well. To the rest, like for countless circumstances, and to this day, I have been a brother, a counselor, a best friend, and a family more than all this classroom-relationship--where I learn God's grace and kindness every single moment.

Last night, for the first time in five years, and after all those innumerable failed-plans to meet up, and years of chatting and calling--there we were enjoying that wonderful time--catching up like father and son--like have never been happier. Three months from now, I'm gonna see him again on his Wedding Day before they migrate to New Zealand. Thank you, Lord, for bringing amazing people in my life.

A Thankful Heart

There will be time when you don't have to utter words to express how you feel--that unspeakable joy for instance--no, it doesn't make one less grateful in life. A thankful heart knows no circumstance--it is always a choice. Well, I prefer to live a life filled with things and times to be joyful about. Did I hit a jackpot today? Of course not, but being healthy, blissful, and wiser every day is already more than a jackpot--it is a blessing rather.

I think I'm just so blessed surrounded with people who are thankful in every way, and in little ways. After all, it is the attitude that counts. A lot of greedy, selfish, and discontented creatures who cannot tell happiness and sadness apart. Happiness for me isn't only the presence of abundance but it is how one should accept emptiness as well. On the one hand, sadness isn't just when abundant life is absent, but we can still be happy without all these earthly treasures. Once or twice I heard, "A thankful heart creates a thankful home", so begin your day with a grateful attitude--at all times possible--joy then will follow for sure. 

One Hint, One Day At A Time

Since I won’t be home for Christmas this time, I am thinking of decking this month with anything that represents the heart of the season–one hint, one day at a time–but only on my Instagram account. I started it today with this simple breakfast–a cup of hot coffee and a slice of apricot crumble from my favorite coffee shop called the Jars of Clay at the Russian Market in Phnom Penh. 

I have been looking forward to this day to come for the past eleven months. The season is finally here. I pray that this year's is full of wonderful memories to write down,  and very colorful ones to take photos, but above a lot of meaningful stories to tell. Join me in anticipation in spreading the love, in sharing, in caring with a thankful heart.  

  

Alone in Victory

How do you really celebrate triumphs in life? To many people everywhere, I suppose, they want it in a loud chorus or at the top of their voice for all the world to hear while I the total irony of it all. Last Wednesday, just a few days ago, I rejoiced over my victories in isolation–alone with my Creator and with a mug of coffee of course. I am not really an introverted person, but in some occasions, I rather be celebrating alone, in jubilation. Like this chance in particular.

As I counted each feather in my cap–feathers of great and small sizes–with a thankful heart, I knew they were only the end of a particular battle. There are more to conquer every single second of our lives. Isn’t it a reality in this unfair life and place we all live in? Anyway, whether or not life is perfect, I am grateful still. 

Walk and Coldness

Been coming up and down Phnom Penh last month, but never had the chance to walk around for health’s sake. I really prefer walking than riding a motorbike or haggling over a price with the tuktuk drivers. No ride, no hassle. Besides it is always healthy to walk. I can hear you agreeing with me. Thanks!

The other night, sometime last week, for the first time in eleven months, I started the walk again. I walked through the roads of 271, Monivong, and Mao Tse Tung including the small hems. The following mornings and so this morning, I did the same routine–same routes with the same purpose. The weather has been cool lately. It feels like Christmas is calling me home. Thank God for the coldness of the day and for the gift of life. I feel like I am the healthiest person ever.

Borrowed Time and Place

Glad to have been a complete outsider for once in my life right in this domicile not mine. Were it not for atypical existence, everything was just out-and-out uninteresting. I got lost several times but for every wandering turned out a beautiful disaster. I wondered about many things but that’s when I gained wisdom. This is only a borrowed time and place. Although it became my home for a while, but I knew it from the start that I won’t be here for a longer time. I might be coming back to visit in the future, but things will never be the same again perhaps. Through thick and thins, I learned to borrow a time and a place never I dreamed of my whole life.

Now and only until tonight, this place has become a home away from home. Tomorrow, this life will be as lovely as a memory. Sooner or later, it will be a history in the hearts and minds of those I had come to work with, to get acquainted with, to know well, to live with, and to love. And hope it will not just like waking up to dejavu. 

A Hundred And Two

A hundred and two entries including this one and a few more perhaps in December isn’t that bad at all in terms of my writing/journaling goal for 2017. Last year, I had a hundred and twenty-eight stories posted here and that proves that I cannot surpass the total number of what I have this time still–for sure it won’t happen. I will be on the go starting this week–like sooner–not taking a laptop with me, and so I can’t promise myself to keep that momentum. But I am certain that the heavenly grace follows me and will see what chance is there in stored. This is my last as well to take advantage of the computer I’ve been using for months now, and I should not miss this opportunity to write at least another entry for the month of November. Then let us see from here.

Looking back at the first three months of this year, I am surprised to know about such a good start–a total of thirty-two articles when I only desired for fifteen. And then I had on-and-off scenarios a few times, but I was able to complete in time the minimum amount of write-ups needed for my concept in particular–“Behind Every Journey”–which is this year’s. Thank God for the strength, wisdom, and grace. This is not my final words without a doubt because I still have a month to put the finishing touches on for this blog. I shall return but I don’t know exactly when in next month. I hope it will be full of happy things to tell. See you all later or sooner!   

 

Back To Afternoon Routine

I started gaining weight as I turned twenty-one. It was my dream as a skinny guy at first but it became a nightmare eventually. Aside from health wise, I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror so fat. I’d look like a walking ball. Why not? I am one of the shortest people living on earth. Gaining too much weight isn’t just for me. Let science explain, but I dislike how I have slower metabolism than others. I understand why, and for this reason, I am trying my hardest to stay fit and thinner than I am normally although I love food so much. I do an hour exercise every afternoon aside from other rituals to mind. Wish I could devour everything knowing food is really my weakness. It is irresistible.   

When I visited my boss over the weekend (just two days ago), I already had a prediction of a feast. His wife is a very good cook aside from a kind host. It was a cheat-weekend too hard to resist. I failed to spend my limit. I couldn’t walk away with total self-control. In short, I declared no diet. And when I came home yesterday, it felt like I was the chubbiest man in the entire planet. So I rushed back to my afternoon routine in desperation to burn fat and calories I consumed in two days. Like I said, I gained weight that fast. From now on until I reach threescore and ten or over, this will be a routine I will not even take ten and take for granted. Back to afternoon routine, that’s when I am happy.

The Loneliest Blog

Soon–like in a month’s time, I will do myself proud (but not as proud as a peacock) for my determination blogging all these nine years long. When I started doing this, there was no expectation or whatsoever because I just wanted to try what it is really like. More than all this curiosity, now I know how it feels without a doubt. Accha! With this sad truth, I had to be in a constant reminder all the time not to fall for statistics or else I could have renounced this undertaking a long time ago. Any regrets? Not at all! This experience for years has taught me a lot of good things not only about writing. One perfect example was the innumerable grace of traveling. That’s when I learned to understand life deeper–both mine and of others. And from there a word and then a phrase and then a sentence and then a paragraph was conceived so I could narrate a journey–it didn’t matter whether or not it was a beautiful story.

Of course, it would be so hypocrite of me not to feel bad about my blog being so infamous. I will never ever deny this status. As a matter of fact (a fact of life perhaps) my blog is the loneliest one ever existing on the Net. See, here I am again in need to be harked back. But please don’t get me wrong, I am always grateful to every visitor who dropped by and who keeps coming back within this period of 3285 days. Thanks a million! My statistic below shows 35, 911 total pageviews and it doesn’t disturb me at all. I only wish for a few more views before this year ends–like 36,000 pageviews. I’d be so happy. I am not that hungry for numbers because I only wish to bless people with this gift of writing. Forget my whining and lamentations anyway–they are in vain. If you want a quiet planet to visit, consider my blog. Just kidding!  

  

Coup de Grace

For every project I did, I had to tap dance like mad, but not tonight–it ends here at this moment. So let me attach some amount of kudos to this achievement. Wish you could see that grinning bobcat in me while I was writing this entry. Five months back, I almost wriggled free from this task–seemed caught up in the middle of a-fight-to-the-finish situation. Now–like in numerous occurrences, I have proven myself wrong again–not really a quitter. My boss had just stamped the certificates with his seal the other day. Yesterday, the manager handed them in to me. The recommendation and referral letters will follow next week. These will be added to my portfolio.

Although this looks like a long break (a month off from this particular project), but I already have started writing a new business proposal for next year. I will have a final meeting with my boss on Friday next week. Then let the fun begin. My heart is leaping for joy for the success of some projects I had this year. And also I am so much thankful to God for blessing me a boss like no other. Really! Most importantly, I learned to play the game and finished them despite awful state of affairs. This is the coup de grace, I have upheld the truth and have proven the prejudiced and the blinkered wrong, I am triumphant. 

      

Eternal Erudition

The only key to unlocking a static life (if there’s kind of thing) is through a constant learning. It doesn’t have to be mandatory because even a self-imposed pursuit of knowledge does count. As a life-long learner, I keep educating myself in every possible way there is. Thanks to technology for it lessens the hassles of going away–like so much comfort. I don’t have to go to school and engaged in a classroom activities or do some research at the library or attend an obliged workshop at all times in order to learn unfamiliar things. Internet avails every information I needed–and sky is no longer the limit these days–such a good news. All I have to do is willingness to embark on a new thing whether it is about career or simply a voluntary desire of knowing something. But you have to love to read a lot first or else this is way too impossible to achieve.

Aside from that typical definition of what forever learning is, I’d like to add my own perspective about it. “That for most scenario, it also and always involves stepping out of the comfort zone.” My mind and heart are in harmony with my conviction. And as a person who is a solid fan of this advocacy, I must learn to let of go of things I value most: my pride, my ego, my laziness, my self-centeredness, my arrogance and more–these are my own comfort zone–and are obstacles in life-long learning. Just yesterday, I struggled to absorb the lesson I had to learn. I had to read something so I could come up with an excellent job I haven’t done before. And in the heat of my own battle, all these negativity were in protest. Well, it was worth letting go in the end. I won and gained new ideas. I think it is part of someone’s journey to eternal erudition.  

  

Expect the Worst

We (my boss and I) had this trip canceled for several times the past two months. Last Monday night was a different story–we finally made it after the busiest schedule to mind. The truth is that (perhaps I’ve already said this a few times), I always expect the worst whenever I go to some places whether in my own country or abroad. This kind of thing which is lowering my standard has been my slogan for more than a decade of traveling. For instance, it took us six hours instead of four to get to our destination, we had to wait for the last passenger like an hour and a half so we could leave, we had stomach upset from the iced-coffee we bought, I couldn’t sleep the whole night, I think I just stayed in the dirties place on earth, and a lot more. We were there for an important things to look at–not a holiday.

Happy to say, when you don’t anticipate for the best (except to bear the agony), you will always find yourself surprised–again, like this trip. This was not my first here in fact. I have been in this town (Kampong Cham) a lot of times before, but only in passive travels. This chance around I had more than enough to enjoy and see how beautiful this town is–superb–I’m loving it. I was actually very surprised big time. My boss brought me in this town for a future project–so soon. And I had the feeling that he is going to move me there next year. I don’t mind. I love the place. I know what to expect. A piece of unsolicited advice, just try not to expect for the best every time you travel to avoid frustration. Well, it depends on you or where you really from. I have learned my own way. All in all, it was an amazing time in the end.

Old Photos

Eleven days ago, I posted on my wall on Facebook a brief background along with my old photos about my educational journey as a kid. I wrote: “These are my favorite photos of all time. But there is more to each image than meets the eye–God’s abounding grace, second chances, and endurance despite odysseys. I struggled to finish elementary. As far as chasing dream is concerned, this stage was almost unbearable–my most difficult beginning. Look how skinny I was.”

Today, I want to say a little bit more, another paragraph to express what I didn’t write the last time. Here it is: “In this real world, it doesn’t take a genius to achieve every dream because diligence and perseverance take the most part. At least that’s how I understand it. A willing heart can possess these traits anytime of the day. In my case, kindness of some people around me what truly inspired my soul–I learned each gesture at the feet of generous ones. I owe them every dream that came to reality and for what I am now. Those individuals had taught me goodness and grace amidst difficult life. As an educator, I will keep teaching, encouraging, inspiring, and reaching out to display the wonderful grace and loving kindness of my Creator. Because I experienced it myself for countless times.”  

Silence Stings

There were times when we all needed a helping hand no matter how strong or fulfilled or abundant we thought we were. In short, as our instinct dictates, no man is really an island. And so we yielded to the reality–that undeniable reaction–a normal tendency to ask for help, but answers don’t always come easy in every circumstance. Even though we expected to get a yes or a no answer at least, but there would be times our prediction went wrong. That’s when silence stung our souls. That’s when I gave up to see a silver lining to happen if scenario like this arises. And it hurts sad to say.   

Although know from experience that it is so, so normal to feel bad when some people said NO to us or turned their backs from us, but a friend’s quietness stings the most because it means apathy. Because you’d never know what is there to expect–only pain from this noiseless rejection. I approached a few people to lend me a hand, but none of them said anything. They could have said no and I would understand. Minutes and then hours and then days had passed, but they didn’t get back to me. They haven’t yet until today. Well, I had my things sorted out. Needless to say, I learned to put my hope in God alone. 

Beginnings

For every human being that exists on this terrestrial ball has learned to walk before he or she could run. We all have our own beginnings to tell the world. And for every lesson I tried to absorb and spent time hitting the books, and then lived it to a failure and a success–each started off with ABC. Whenever I was upset about my learners (and prayed to have the patience of a saint), just had to remind myself how I used to crawl for innumerable times only to get this far. Yes, I still do this until these days and for as long as my task as an educator is needed. This remedy which I called a-must-pacifier is a very effective way dealing with some challenging learners. It cools me down.

“What could I possibly learn from these students?” I asked myself this question a few hours ago. Everything about them is raw–for now I’m sure. Each is a young hand at plowing, mostly in a playful mood, young at heart, and so studious–still undergoing a metamorphosis. But I once was very alike and barely had enough–so inexperience in many things, a late bloomer, and immature and naïve kid, and as poor as church mice–had only metamorphosed through God’s grace. I don’t even remember if I was an old head on young shoulders. No, I never had an insightful behavior as a kid. And so, to answer my own query, I learned a few things: love higher than the sky, patience deeper the ocean, and understanding wider than the universe. Isn’t it what our Father in heaven wants us to do the same?   

Persimmon

I eat every fruit as far as I am aware of my lifestyle–but not the forbidden fruit. Sorry, I’m not that humorous. Although I devour almost every kind, those that I know and had seen for the first time, but I’m no conscious-freak of the benefit they give to my body. I just eat them because they’re undeniably healthy. This makes me a fruit-eater I think. Of course, wild and tropical fruit are always the best according to my taste buds and in my eyes.

This time, I’ve just got a new favorite fruit. It is persimmon. In fact, I’d never seen or eaten one growing up, it was only when I got here in Cambodia for the first time way back in 2003. My colleague introduced this strange edible thing to me. I liked it since then although I don’t crave for it that much. Yesterday I had one at breakfast and so this morning before lunch. I’ll still have a piece a day for the next seventy-two hours. Then I will try to have more for as long as they are still available in the market. I don’t remember how much I’ve scoffed all in all the past fourteen years, but I had a lot to be sure about it. Why is it my favorite fruit now? One big reason–so important reason, is the good effect and help it causes your entire body. I asked this question a few times, but I only had the interest to Google it this afternoon. The benefits what one can get from eating persimmon has surprised me big time. There are eleven to eighteen good stuff at least to know. Just Google it yourself if you are still incognizant of these true facts. For me, and health wise, I fell for it.  

Reading Novels

Reading novels is really not my cup of tea. Well, it’s a half-truth confession. I had indulged in the past eight thousand seven hundred sixty days of my life, once in a while, perhaps not more than a hundred books in total. It all depended on the mood and the story–not so much of an author. For some reason, I couldn’t stand the agony of a thrill which forced me to exert efforts to match my supposition with the writer’s clever plot and interesting sequel. And so flipping pages till the end not missing any paragraph just to find out what is there awaits to expect–whether or not it is a satisfying twist. Most of the time I gave up, but not this time.

Had finished reading a thirty-seven-chapter novel early tonight. It was another one in a month, but browsing through the book seemed forever. Thought I could gulped it down in just a day. It took me two days instead. Glad it was worth the persistence. Why this book? Because it is the only pleasurable left to read–the rest I already took advantage of these previous months. Lastly, I’m fast and impatient reader, and reading novels takes a lot of energy and time too. Of course, if I had another choice, I won’t hesitate to leave this one unread for the time being. It didn’t happen this way but let this book, "The Couple Next Door", engulfed me interestingly, unresistant. I am not faking it though, I did enjoy it. Recommended.        

Future

Future

More often than not, a lot of people I know perceive destiny as a fact of life while others try to shape the future the way they wanted it to be; the rest is a mixture of both. Wish I had all the answers to every wondering mind, but even myself is struggling to grasp everything around me–it’s another of life’s great mysteries.

I may be old enough in this temporary world, but I am still at an in-between stage and have not fully conceived the very purpose of my own existence yet including lives not mine. In short, I am not the man of the world–no, not yet.

Early Nostalgia

Homesickness brought me in YouTube yesterday. My soul was so desperate to hear a song in particular–a Christmas one. As soon as I played that three-year-old revival record, sang by my favorite artist, I felt Noel is calling me home. I listened to it until I napped the afternoon away. And when I got up from that long siesta, I still had the same song in my mind. It was the first one I enjoyed and also the LSS (Last Song syndrome) of the day.

Funny me, but I have had it on repeat the whole day from noon until evening. It was my lullaby for my nap and was the rhythm for my exercise and my soul’s only MRS (Most Requested Song) all through dinner. What an early nostalgia! Because going home for Christmas is already in my bucket lists this year. I’m just kind of excited and can’t wait to spend time with my family and friends back there for this long awaited season. For now, let this early, nostalgic drama gets me. I’m beginning to count my remaining days in this current work place.