GODCHILD

What could a godfather possibly give to a child who is so much blessed materially? By saying this, I only mean few things - to praise the Giver for pouring down countless blessings; to salute the parents for being selfless providers; and to appreciate others for their thoughts to bless this child.

Now he’s FOUR – let’s say, this little boy is still at “gimme that” or “take it, take it” stages. Sooner or later he‘d come to learn that life isn’t only a matter of receiving; it’s also living a generous lifestyle. Both thanks belong to his kind parents and to goodhearted individuals for living true examples – that he may follow this when he’s on his own. I pray!

Let’s consider Ninong (it’s an addressee to a godfather) this time – I, so been away to fulfill a commitment. The only occasion I’ve been to so far was years ago during his dedication or christening. So I owed him a lot. But God knows each prayer I’ve uttered day and night - always hopeful that this little boy would grow strong, wise, healthy, and obedient to his parents specially to his Creator. Paying that someday he may be exactly the person his loved ones long for. And so his godfather does.

No excuses, it’s always my bad. Of course, I do feel sad for being forgetful on every special day of his life. Thank God he’s still young to remind me for that. One day when he’s grown enough to understand things – for sure I’d love to spend time with him in a chat. This time, no matter how playful we would be – they are only shallow memories of life. Hope he’d remember those times. It’s still too early to tell.

 

 Thank God for every precious time catching up with him in different or simple ways. It is also a joy, as always, seeing him around growing wise and talented. And thank God for such a treasure – he’s the apple of everyone’s eye aside by those real beholders themselves (his parents).  I pray he’d grow up respectful (he is in fact) not just being lovable and adorable.

I was told this morning that he just turned four yesterday. What a blessing to know! 

That’s when again an inquiring mind asked the same question – What could I possibly give? He has everything one child can imagine. 

“We’ll it’s not always a material gift a way. There is always a priceless gift – an unceasing prayer” one kind friend encouraged. I agree!

But still it’s also my desire to wrap him something – one godparent would love doing. 

What do you think? 

You can sms me or message me on facebook for one great idea. I’d consider that one day. Thanks anyway!

For now, I’ve spent time playing with him – one simple kid’s happiness. Then I got to know him deeper. Hoping he’d also remember me every now and then despite my invisibility. I was so comforted that this is more worth than any material gifts. It was great, fine day having him around even for that short time. Always looking forward for more time- a godfather-godson get together.

“Dear God, thank you for this precious gift (Judsen) one godfather can treasure eternally. Please remind me of my commitment to pray for him at all times; to bless him generously in many ways; but above all to admonish him in a way a child should grow. Let your abounding grace, your unconditional love, and unending faithfulness follow him all the rest of his life. Bless him more and more and more. Amen!”    

Have a blessed 4^th birthday, Judsen!

THREE DAYS OF DEJA VU

Today is Monday. Been listening to one song the whole day through - Change Nothing, a winning piece from an American Idol Season 11 finalist. Can you believe it? The song didn't mesmerized the judges unfortunately. It was definitely a beautiful rendition. Only it's the kind one which takes a while to appreciate the whole score. And so I took time listening to give this song justice.

That's when I realized it's the one that deserved a standing ovation (in my judgment at least).

That's when I also noticed that this song is a deja vu in itself. I had a strong feeling have heard it before, just don't know where and when. As I said, it's a beautiful song - just take time to listen thrice or more. My third experience of deja vu in three days. 

I don't know, for sure we all have experienced this strange feeling or vision. And life itself always brings this stuff in our lives - whether an illusion or dull familiarity.

After the league last Sunday, my friend gave me a ride home. On the way to our destination, we were talking about familiar folks in Frisbee. One slip of a tongue, I learned that two of our common friends got divorced. I was quite shocked actually. Then one familiar memory brought me back in time where I predicted this story before it happened. You know, what subconscious does. Or maybe just a deja vu. But what my friend told me was exactly the hint my subconscious picked up, ignored. 

Let's say it's just a feeling of deja vu - the second one in three days! I rather say it this way. After all it is none of my business - it's a sad story though.

Last Saturday was a catching-up-stories from friends while physically away from them - for we still have facebook these days. And there was one heartbreaking. Like this song (Change Nothing) channels exactly the same situation where this friend stands.

I've seen this situation somewhere - and was afraid it's just another weird feeling of deja vu. But this time it turned out right. Maybe my intuition was stronger than this awkward illusion- and that I made the right guess. The break-up of a four-year-old relationship destroyed by a third party (and I guessed who, not just a deja vu). My first bizarre experience in three days caused by deja vu.

I hope I had enough. No more deja vu, please. It's just a funny feeling.

One Wekend With U.F.O. Folks

Back to U.F.O. – the world of only familiar aliens share the same interest. But no one is a stranger here. I was out for a while due to constrained time. The last time I saw objects flying was three months ago. Now I am enjoying the presences of the company. 

Back to the most indulging grass – where aficionados of U.F.O. like me spend hours throwing and catching discs. It’s more than that actually. We always conform to our ultimate standard – NEVER STOP RUNNING. Thanks to this comfortable field (only in RMIT).

“I’m so old and fat” my lazy conscience teased. 

Not to mention my worries panting like a dog the moment I’d be in. Besides, it’s really difficult maintaining stamina when one is physically unfit; and one is away from this game for so long. But I had to push my self for the sake of health.  Now that I am free, it’s my chance. So glad I did!

 

 I missed playing with these kids. But I must be prepared for the many challenges around them. They’re young, and I’m not. They are fast, and I am trying. Keeping up with these kids was always the issue.  Well, very happy to be back!

“Keep playing, Al. This will be your warm up for the finals tomorrow.” one kid encouraged me yesterday. 

That’s right! We had a big game this afternoon. I was pirated to play with RMIT (Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology) students. These are young, fast players that none in my generation or the generation next is playing with today.

We played three games in a row to end the league. At least I was warmed up a day before this. So there I played hard busting butts. We didn’t win and was out after semi-finals. But again, it’s an honor to play with these bionic kids. I had wonderful moments with them this weekend. 

Back to old lifestyle – a kind of life never had in Cambodia since I moved. Can’t believe was off at karaoke for a long time. Last night was a blast.

It was also a joy having been invited for a birthday bash. There I was enjoying the treat – a pure treat where I don’t have to wash any dishes or serve or cook. All I had to do was to sit served. I was surprised actually because these are wealthy kids, yet they cooked food, set the table, washed the dishes, and mopped the floor before we headed to karaoke. I had a great time with my U.F.O. folks. Thanks for the weekend bash!

And oh, this weekend I had time catching up stories, humors and rumors I missed. Whatever they are, rest assured I left them there. And no one will hear it outside this circle.

Then we had pizzas and fruits to celebrate the success of this league. Sad I wasn’t in the league the whole time, but so glad I made it this final week. I felt so fulfilled physically. 

What a weekend with U.F.O. folks!


By the way, the acronym stands for Ultimate Frisbee Organization. 

 

FOR GOODNESS' SAKE

 Had mentioned this coffee shop in one of my previous posts late last year. Treat and Trick, remember this story? But it was definitely my mistake. So charged to my experience.

I will be featuring it (still nameless) again, but this time definitely talking about their negligence. So charged to their experience.

In fairness, it has been my favorite place for nine years long. Name an occasion, then I'll be able to tell every story for every event that took place here. This coffee shop has become part of me, and only familiar friends can name this shop exactly. I wrote my recent posting here, and even a lot of those postings before this. And still here this time writing another article amidst an incident yesterday.

It only had one or very few shops in my early years here, but outlets are everywhere now. I've been to all them, but only in two places I went the most. I was once a VIP and had enjoyed all the benefits a client is entitled to.

Servers come and go, and so the management staff. That's why I should always have rooms for consideration and a little tolerance. Don't fake it, I'm sure you'd complain when a service went wrong. Wouldn't you? I would especially if I don't get my order in two hours, forgotten. 

If I had to write all those complaints, I don't think would remember all. That's when I said showing kindness and tolerance - but not yesterday. It wasn't the kind of thing one should let go. I do mean it. It was so disappointing!

Wanted to have a nase goreng (the picture above) yesterday for dinner. This is the only cuisine I order at @#$%^&* coffee shop for a meal except snacks. And so I know which outlet serves the best. And so I knew I was at the right place.

But look what I got?

A cold nase goreng??? Kidding me!

"Why are you serving me cold food?" I asked the server.

He took my plate back and gave it to the counter. The food was supposed to be sizzling hot. The fried rice was so little and looked awful. It wasn't the usual one although I was ordering it from the same place. And also it was the most expensive in the lists, but it was not about the price. It was the poor service.

Waited...

"Where is my food?" I insisted.  

"Oh, I forgot" the server said.

Then one of the girls at the counter was alarmed and put it in the microwave immediately. She took it out few minutes after. And when the server brought it to me, it was still cold.

Speechless and took a deep breath.

"Can you change my food, please?" I told him.

He took my food back and brought it at the counter. They did the same process. I was already angry.

So I asked the server in Vietnamese, "Where in the world you serve your customer a cold food and heat it in microwave?"

Then he apologized and finally told me to change the order. But I was already hungry to take his offer. I ate it instead and told him to bring me the manager.

A woman came to me while I was eating.  

"May I help you?" she started. "No, I want the manager." I replied in frustration.

This time she insisted with an apology. Granted but she had to hear my speech. "What if my friend or my host asked me what I had for dinner? And then I told them I had cold nase goreng. Few minutes after, they called their friends too tell what had happened. What do yo think?"

Her eyes turned big surprisingly. Then she went back to the counter. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to bluff them.

She came back pleading and told me to forget everything. She also told me she'll get the bill. "No, I'll pay. Just bring me the manager." I said my last words. I don't think taking the offer was the best decision. After all no one is a perfect worker. I just needed the manager to remind them. I've done this countless times. Sometimes they were not worth advising but it was for goodness' sake.

Who cares?

I do!

Finally, the manager came in and talked to me. It was cool of her to say sorry and promised to improve the service even before I said my complaint. Like the rest of them she insisted to offer the same thing. But I refused. What for?

I could have taken the offer and walked full and forget about it. I didn't. I was trying to help instead even I wasn't treated fair - for the sake of showing goodness. I would feel guilty if I took it because it was not my intention for complaining. I wonder how many opportunists are there in the world?

When I settled my bill, I was charged nothing. And even if I insisted many times they didn't take my money. So I took it as a consultation fee for giving them a lecture.

Happy?

No!

Guilty?

No!

But I realized taking that gift was the only way to feel them better and to see room for development. 

HONORED

 Prior to these weddings, the last one I attended was four years ago. And so distance kept me from not joining the past invitations. Still, I felt honored amidst my absence. It was the thoughts!

The recent one wasn't that  perfect to say, but it was elegant enough to consider. I hope everyone understands the grace of the One who weaved these two different individuals. After all it's the faithfulness and love that counts.

I may not be the most anticipated guest, yet such a privileged to be a witness in this rare event. It has always been a joy to see two hearts knit together. What more seeing your friends treading this stage. So happy for them! 

Funny me, it was actually my first time in a tuxedo. I had vest or formal wears in the past unlike this one. But that's not it - it wasn't this suit made it honoring. It was in fact the opportunity to pray, to bless, to sing songs, and to rejoice with the newly wed couple. So honored!

People have different motives coming to the wedding, but only few can truly respect a solemnity. That's what disturbed me with the recent one. I may be conclusive or so judgmental, but a lot of people were so disrespectful of the couple. Maybe they only came to eat or so. For certain, it is not what I've been trying to say - HONORED. 

Again, the guests may have had reasons for being disrespectfully inattentive, so just go home and leave the place. Seeing them at the lobby doing different things was actually destructing to the other guests and the couple themselves. And for whatever pitfalls the organizer had, deal with it. After all it is not the guest's wedding - it  was the bride and the groom's.    

"Eating is not the only reason we came, but to respect every moment with them above all." a friend of mine said. 

I agree! 

But how much people understand is the question I could not answer. I don't care. I feel honored for sure being invited. 

Congratulations to the newly wed couple, and God bless you! 

A TEN-DOLLAR SEAT

Now in Saigon for two occasions - a birthday and a wedding. But this was not how it looked like coming here. It was I'd say from comfort to discomfort and vice versa situation.

Too confident that I would always have an easy trip. "Oh, can't wait for this six-hour trip and just indulge the time in sleeping." I told my kids in anticipation.

Aside from the heat issue and so sleepless nights, staying inside the air-conditioned bus would do. Yet it didn't happen as looked forward to. No, I don't put the blame on holiday.

I don't usually underestimate big holidays. But few things happened for a reason. I don't know but this holiday didn't mesmerize me though. I could not even remember what's this for. For sure I sent my kids home for few days. Maybe just too occupied with other things that I almost miss it coming today.

Wanted to catch the 1 o'clock bus to Saigon today. And so I woke up early to get a spot. But it was already fully booked.  

"What?" I said in frustration!

I had options of course but it's a hassle to go to another bus company. I still did anyway. It was 11:00 am when I arrived at different station. It was thirty minutes before the departure. Hopeful can take any earlier trips since the bus leaves every hour.

Then another "What???"

All trips were fully booked as well except for the 3 o'clock. That's when I realized how important this holiday was. 

Then silence - I was actually trying to calm down since worrying won't change a thing.

And then another silence - this time I was thinking seriously what to do.

Finally, I talked to the counter but she insisted it was already full. "I can sit on the elevated floor or stand. I don't mind. Please, just let me get on the bus." I pleaded.

When I sensed she wasn't that accommodating, I immediately talked to the boss. The boss knew me since I was a regular passenger in the past years (not anymore). After waiting for thirty minutes, I ended up on wait lists. Thank God!

Unfortunately, nobody canceled a seat but still they allowed me to get on the bus. The driver told me to sit on a special seat ( a conductor's seat actually).  

"This isn't bad as I expected!" I told my self.

When I was about to take the seat, the conductor refused and had his twelve-year-old nephew settled. The boy was also taking his chance. And they gave me this red plastic stool.  

"This isn't worse as I thought!" I comforted my self.

After all I insisted. So there's no room for complaints.

After all I didn't want to fight over just for a seat.The boy needed it more than I did.

After all I have been through a lot taking this bus. That's why I stopped patronizing this company for a long time. I had no choice.

There I was on a ten-dollar-red seat in between seats sitting uncomfortably. Not to mention the number of times I stood up because one passenger and a conductor kept passing by. That was part of it.

Suddenly, I was reminded of my anticipation back home. Then my sleepy eyes started tempting me. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. I also ended sitting next to the guy I met earlier.

"Why is your seat different when we paid the same price?" he teased speaking in English.

"So you are teasing me?" I played back speaking in Khmer language.

Thanks to that funny dialogue. It helped a bit.

Minutes later, I decided to seat on the elevated floor (usually the bus here has). This time at the far side from where I was sitting first. A seat away from the driver unfastened and nothing to hold could be very dangerous. With one strong break a way, I'd be flying through the front mirrored window dead. It was a wise decision over discomfort. Safety first, you know.

At first it was cool and I rested a bit. But then I could not stand it anymore. The elevated seat was heating up my butt (from the machine under). Thanks to the cool air conditioner for it helped a bit. It was another discomfort. Imagine yourself in long hours standing position while the bus is running. I'm just telling a story here and not complaining. Anyway, I had the red stool back to get away with this elevated seat.

Again, thanks to the inquisitive Taiwanese guy. I had an awesome conversation with him.We talked for a long time and it helped forget the seemingly uncomfortable situation. It was an interesting talk one could not easily have with this kind of trip. I've learned a lot from him - historically, work wise, and even with cultural issues.

Before I knew it, we were already at the border. And he had to get off for work. He was not heading to Saigon like the rest of us. It was a good news for me then to have his seat to continue my long trip. And so the vice versa began.

Before I realized it, I was already sitting on a vacant seat comfortably - sitting and talking next to the boy who took the same chance; indulging the coolness of the technology; enjoying the bounty (boiled corns, roast peanuts, some cookies and drinks) since I do like eating while traveling; happily listening to music in my i-pod; beheld the scenery and took a photo; and then had an hour nap rested.

PURE HELP

Only goodhearted people can truly define such words: pure help.  But a lot of people are also familiar with the paradox. Which of these thoughts you are so acquainted with? You don't have to tell me.

This is the article I was trying to blog desperately days ago. For some reasons, I didn't. Now been holding my feeling back. It's time to speak my mind once and for all.

 When I published my book (AT THE FEET OF GENEROUS ONES) last year, I only had one intention - to lift up every kind heart with gratefulness. And each generosity was measured out of pure willingness and not how much one gave a hand. So those examples of kindness truly amazed me. Blessed enough, not one of them had displayed something that made me questioned their motives in the end. 

Not one of them had uttered hurtful words to feel me badder. They preferred to bless. They were but silent givers and encouragers.

None of these givers hit my head, put a foot on my head, kicked me, insult me, joked around below the belt even in the name of excessive familiarity. Thinking they have the right to do so because I am nobody anyway.

Not a single one said awful words before giving. Not a single whined in front of me to feel them burdened. But many times one (I) had no choice but to keep quiet.

Do we call it pure help?

Again, not a any of those givers gossiped me to announce their gesture. They even warned me not to tell anyone about it. That's again pure help.

These are the many differences I noticed from those goodhearted ones compared to people trying to help but actually not. People may be different in characters (I DO UNDERSTAND), but that's not an excuse to go beyond just because you helped a person. Then you can degrade the receiver - that's not pure help at all.

For many circumstances, helping others isn't complete without string attached - whatever form it may be. It's not pure help to define. 

Those who know me from head to foot would ask the same question if they had read my book.

"Why Mr. X isn't mentioned in the book when he extended you bulks of help?" I asked this question again and again, too.

As I listed portraits for this particular book to be my subjects, I made a decision not to include him. But don't get me wrong for being ungrateful. I am always thankful for the many helps I received, but I just have not seen sincerity of the heart. And that's what I wanted from the book readers to see and learn.

If we could not help a person with a pure heart, don't waste your time - He will not honor it for sure. As you find someone to help today, think about it or else it will only be clanging cymbals. 

  

ROAD TO REFINEMENT

Thoughts ran through my head as I watched one of my kids cooking lunch. Aside from having the idea blogging this out, fascination after another filled my mind as well. I was sitting at the corner in silence, and in deep awe. It was simply a typical day to notice, but I didn't let the day go without these thoughts entertained.

Caught impressed, I asked her a question, "Have you ever cooked back home?"  

"Yes, I had. But it was only here I've improved a lot." was her honest confession.  

"That's good to know!" I said, to end our dialogue.

With the kind of food this fifteen-year-old girl had prepared, only unappreciative parents would not care enough. But I was extremely happy for her.  She isn't the only one actually, we have more of her at the center. And so watched them grow and develop in many ways is a joy to my heart. Oh, about the food, it was good of course.

Haven't been here that long, yet have seen a lot of kids journeyed the road to refinement. Even the nastiest and the laziest, have become someone else one can imagine. They have transformed in time which only called love can define. I wonder how grateful those parents are to teachers who have touched lives tremendously.

No matter how longer or shorter the time they have stayed, only sweet memories kept ringing back. I've heard them told good stories countless times while visiting this place once their home. Testimony after testimony are sweet aromas as always especially how their lives have become in the name of refinement. 

It didn't matter how difficult life may seemed, they conquered all in their willingness to be refined. And once they realized that all these (training, motivation, hard work, and hard knock) were for their own good, not a single kid left ungrateful.

 Again, been here only almost two years but feels like for ages. I had enough whining when things went wrong. I did a lot of scoldings when everything was a mess. So much for reminders. They are too grown up. But I know it wont stop here. They needed more encouragement and motivation. But letting stresses go away is another concern. I had too much of this headache. And so I made a wise decision - to give my full trust to whatever task assigned; ignore my stressors rather than being a neat-freak; also taking a responsibility light and fun. I think I should do this to see any marks of refinement.

Are these kids so refined now?

No, not yet. It's still a long way.

They have to learn a lot to come to this stage. It's a constant process where falling and thriving involve. It's an everyday living where guidance and admonishment from like us is a must. For sure they will get there at the right time. After all it takes a long process to refine a person. I'm glad I understand. Of course, simple reminders and constant supports are inseparable.

Sad I could not see those who have left thrive more, but they will in their own world certainly. I'm very proud have been journeying with them the road to refinement where learning is a give and take. A lot may have gone back home, others may have found a new place to flourish, and the rest are still here driven by a purpose - both shared a common ground...to be refined for life.