A Hut

This is no twist of fate being here at the moment–it is already written in God’s own plan–another unexpected journey I believe defined by grace alone. Seeing me in this dwelling is very surprising and funny too, but if relearning things is ought to perhaps, so be it. 

It is neither a new world nor was a home. I had been here years ago and struggled to live a life. Aside from taking pleasure in sunrise and sunset, in stargazing, and in beautiful lotuses and lilies, the rest was a pretense. Every single minute was paranoia from dangerous snakes and other unfriendly creatures that creep… and many more.

Happy to say, the situation this time is no longer as before. It has changed so much and that includes my feeling towards this particular space. I still see dangerous reptiles here every now and then though, but this is now neatened up for the guests to enjoy.

And now a pretty hut is built by my former boss–where gestures of kindness is extended to anyone, anytime–to me just to have a humble abode for awhile.

Still sick when I got here and needed a resting place (not a hospital bed). My body was so aware from tip to toe that only fresh air and water therapy I’d be fine again. It has been my place of healing where I regained my strength back. 

Right in this hut where every single prayer uttered night and day had never been that all-important–it didn’t matter whether each was softly spoken or not. Thank God for the provision of a hideout away from pollution including all the noise.

The hut I’m staying at present is another temporary home sharing the same joy with other inhabitants aside from the hosts themselves. For the past weeks until this very second is a daily reminder of showing goodness–at least for me.

People come in and out of this shade–a shelter not necessarily in times of a drought. And each one is just like me who needs mercy unconditionally regardless of reasons.  

Everything in this abode is inexpensive or free except a hope against hope. I’m enjoying the nature one busy man is envious about. I’m so blessed with a family and friendship one man could claim. Laughter in this tiny dwelling is seemingly endless. It’s a perfect place to live for now.   

A hut is only a hut–not how I look at it this time–it means a lot to me.

Big Fat Role

In spite of bestowed titles from my previous works, half of my existence struggled because I was always a front liner. As a leader, I was taught to serve–not to dictate.

As a Director, most of my functions were behind the scene, and yet didn’t limit my jurisdiction in the office alone. I taught learners that required long patience, deeper love, and more mercy too.  

Role is just a role, and it is not my nature to work my way up to get that promising recognition. I touch lives directly instead of staying transcendent. I educate anyone, anytime, anywhere regardless of my academic achievements.

When I asked a mega-church pastor (who was a PhD graduate receiving $12,500 USD a month at that time) just a minute of counseling because I was depressed, his response was surprisingly disappointing. “Why me?!” he refused.

I didn’t talk to him after that and until his death. I was not angry or am now either, but that encounter taught me a different perspective. He must have had a reason for such refusal.

Thinking over that one situation at my present age, I realized am just different in my understanding of a title. I usually defy protocol over rally round. For one big reason, it is always a joy to help others in need–who knows it only comes once.

Last week I poured my heart out on Facebook, I posted:

“For a week now over meals, my former boss keeps persuading me to take his huge responsibility as an Executive Director and have me oversee the foundation like my own. But I don’t think I’m ready for such a big fat role. And when I refused telling him to offer it to someone else, he said, ‘I am keeping it until you made up your mind.’ Thank God for rare individuals who see things in me those others don’t. I usually get wrong impressions from others.”

Whether or not I’ll take the offer in the future, my outlook about dealing people in need remains the same. My circumstances might change–for the better or a twist of fate, but not my heart.

A lot of people are so hungry for power or position or fame or money and are willing to go through anything–with heads getting bigger and bigger. I don’t want them.   

It is just a big fat role!

Forgiveness