EXCESSIVE FAMILIARITY

Whether sending sms or with spoken words – it’s the same story. One must really be careful with the choice of words. If a simple punctuation could mean a thing, what more a hurting word. Then whether we’re making a conversation out of familiar ones or the ones in acquaintance, we must learn to bite our tongues. I am not saying it’s easy.

Do you agree with me? It’s easier to talk to or play around with people whom we are personally attached to.

It’s called too much familiarity. 

And so the susceptibility of being tactless is wide. That’s when we are tempted to act foolishly beyond the limit. People call it below the belt or foul words or simply offending.

We might not admit it, but it is true. We often find ourselves caught in tolerance pampering our sharp tongues, and then with lame excuses. That’s the influence of this excessive familiarity in us.

“We’re friends. He’ll understand.”  

What if he doesn’t? The next thing you knew he was already hurt enough. And with one tactless word a way, that person will burst in anger. You know what will happen next. No need further elaboration.

No one knows the heart of someone or how much patience one can give. If someone is really a friend, I think that person deserves soothing words. After all even the ones not considered friends must be treated the same way – why hurt a friend?  

Respect boundary and limitation!

“It was just a joke. I didn’t mean anything.” 

Good! 

But that doesn’t justify a wounded heart. Because each one is created unique and so one’s way of looking at the situation varies. Of course, no one can exactly predict how others interpret an action. Better safe than sorry. I rather assume that not every individual can truly discern a joke from what’s not. Remember that an intention will be understood clear only when a person tells (in many cases I know).

I don’t find telling joke as a mortal sin, but inappropriate joke is a different story. Many times we used jokes thinking to make someone laugh but it’s the other way around. For even familiar friend hurts or embarrassed.

Consider someone’s feeling always!

“I’m just trying to be honest with the way I feel.” 

So you have the right to say whatever you want. That’s how you feel. 

What about how others feel?

Even if we’re in the right position to do so, still we should not utter blunt words to people close to us. And even if we know someone from head to foot, we just do not say hurtful words for our own feeling.

Think of others as well!

“An open rebuke is better than hidden love.” But I don’t think this is how the verse implies. An open rebuke doesn’t mean to embarrass or to hurt or to provoke someone. Again this is just another lame excuse one could give. If one isn’t aware of too much familiarity (in spoken words especially), then that person is a foul-mouthed for sure.

Tame your tongue!

“That’s how we treat each other.” Two words – excessive familiarity!

Whether a tacky spoken word or an inappropriate joke or in a disrespectful manner, try to avoid all these things.  Reserve a boundary over familiarity.

Glimpse from a New Book - WHERE ANGELS TROD

“Biraddali, biraddali, biraddali!” the children yelled in awe. 

The noise was too loud that it woke me up from a long nap. They kept yelling until they persuaded the rest of the kids to see what it was. But it didn’t bother me for I’ve seen it countless times. Besides, I was too grown up to believe such thing. Sunset was on its way to close the day. So got no reason left to indulge the bed. I had to get up.

It has always been a typical summer afternoon except for one thing that arched across the sky – a colorful rainbow. We prefer to call it a biraddali back home. But it wasn’t for this beautiful creation alone that drove the kids to make noises. There’s something peculiar within the story itself.  Which simply the heart of an innocent child left amazed, wondered. And only one naïve kid would lend ears for the folklore. It is believed from where I lived that where rainbow’s end touches the waters, there some beautiful angels swimming. As I said, I was too grown up for that. No matter how different the story is from that other one – a pot of gold, both just didn’t make any sense. My time has finally come to look at the rainbow or an angel in different stances. 

So glad it came! 

Putting interest on angelology resulted an in-depth understanding more than just having fun. Yet it didn’t give anyone in my class some kind of assurance to meet one for real. I still haven’t seen an angel (as in the real one with wings or so) my entire life. But I do believe they exist in heaven and earth. This is just my stand – believe it or not. After all each one has different outlook on things. And each outlook deserves respect not necessarily agreeing.  

If it is not angelology, what is it with the title then? 

I’d like to stress that it isn’t another argument about the existence of an angel or its sexuality. Not my field of interest actually. And because I never had any encounters with literal angel one commonly thinks, the use of a word (an angel) here is only a figure of speech. As always, each story unveiled in every chapter is associated with this immortal. Now whatever meticulous inquiry you have concerning this being, this book isn’t going to provide an answer. But it will flabbergast you with moments the same way it did to me. If it doesn’t meet your expectation so far, I am offering you excellent choices – feel free to close the book or continue reading. It’s your call. 

Tread with me where angels trod. 

LEARNING AND RELEARNING

Life itself has a lot of things to learn from. It offers whoever lessons every single second without limits. All we have to do is learn or relearn. That is why learning is ageless. I had awesome experience from village excursions the last two years. But don't think I've absorbed them all. And so even new little thing captured was worth learning this time.








The past few days I was out in the net. The only mode one can reach me out is through a phone. I just could not wait to log in and show what I got. There I was tremendously enjoying life and what this seemingly familiar culture has to offer. Hoping to see anything new, my wish but was granted. Clicks from my camera were just endless.

Haven't I seen these stuff yet?

I actually have!

In fact I spent Khmer New Year last year at exactly the same villages. But sometimes you have to relearn things to appreciate life in better perspective. Also this reminds me again which those I took for granted the last time. After paying another glance, they turned in worth treasuring.






Learning?

Yes, I am.

Words in fact aren't enough to justify the truth. So let pictures help me express what I have seen for real. Relearning? So yes! I think it's important to relearn things to learn life. And I am always grateful for this twelve silent days from Facebook. It was one of the best times of my human existence.





My time at least at Alliance Graduate School was another unforgettable classroom venture. There I had awesome professors unlocked cultural issues my mind could not possibly imagine. But it wasn't enough. For we knew in time that theories or stories alone couldn't make our scholastic journey self-fulfilling. That is why life in field experience (LIFE) was conceived to complete the program. It was an eyeopening. More than just sitting at their feet in the name of academe, thank God they also emphasized something else. Happy to say, I am enjoying life in the field.

BLEND IN

 
"I wish I was taller. I wish I had fair skin. I wish I got long nose."

These are only few from my long lists. If one is true enough to admit, there maybe times we hated our imperfection. You should count me in! More than just valuing my outside look, I also have learned to love myself in and out regardless how others think of me. This is what self-acceptance all about.

It was in high school when I first heard the word blend. From a blend 45 coffee brand that was newly introduced in the community. But countless sips from this didn't explain a thing. I still don't get the point why such a product was named after a word. Lately, I started thinking about it and I came to grasp the concept behind.

The same thing with this brand, only in later years of my existence I fully understood the purpose of my physical feature. Insecurity and the lack of self-esteem were my teasers. When God's love filled my heart, my perception about the way I look has also changed. I am actually created unique for a reason - to blend in. I got it!



Cambridge Dictionary categorized blend in as a verb which means "to look or seem the same as surrounding people or things and therefore no be easily noticeable."  

And who am I to contest this definition? 

After all it is so true in my case, and in many instances.

When I lived in Saigon, the Vietnamese spoke to me in their own language. Thank God I learned such a tongue. Besides, I always got the impression being one of them. I don't mind. It's actually an honor.I blended in and it was for my own good. I can eat everywhere in the street without being ripped off so badly (let's say few cents). I can bargain in wet markets. No one bugged me as they do to white people. I can walk around even late at night because I look the same.

Moving to Cambodia was the same story. I blend in the more actually. I exactly got the same feature. If I don't speak in English no one can really tell. And when I began to utter words, that's when they are surprised. I can go to amusements without a ticket or with a local price. 

Off course, I don't want to take advantage and lie. I had once. I can ride a motodop not being cheated. I am a good bargainer, too. But blending in isn't enough, I have to speak Khmer too.

 

In Singapore Open Ultimate Frisbee Tournament, Malaysian delegates would speak to me in Bahasa. But I don't speak it, so I could not play around and just pretend that I am. I haven't been to Malaysia yet, for certain I'd blend in when I get there. Let see!

 

I traveled to Bangkok yearly, and so it was unavoidable that some people would always pissed off every time I speak in English to them. They think I pretend to be somebody else. I had no choice. I can't speak Thai. This is my only concern though, the rest (like safety or afraid of being fooled) I'm good. They are honest people. But if I decided to settle there, I could really blend in. I think it would be the same story moving to Laos or Burma or Indonesia or in Brunei. I'll blend in.

NOT MY FAVORITE DAY AGAIN

It isn't because today is my brother's birthday or the 9th of April. Maybe just a coincidence as many would think of it. If he had to make a party, I'd still don't want to kill that joy anyway. He would have my heart and full support on this. Thank God he is not around to feel bad. 

But today is today and I cant deny it. 

No offense!

For honesty sake, it's always the one I hate to think about. I guess this feeling is true to many volunteer workers in Cambodia as well. As much as I wanted to ignore this day, it's beyond my control. I had to put my shoes on, wear my jacket including helmet, and then ride a motorbike to the border. I needed a visa stamp in my passport.

I was already on a holiday since last weekend - enjoying the company of my kids; graciously feasting fully to the brim; adoring every scenery my eyes could see, but then I had to leave the place this morning unhappy. I knew it is going to be another uncomfortable detour.










 
So true. 

And who would be happy to wait for a bus in the middle of the road under the sun? 

No one for sure. 

It was another test of patience as the slowest bus in the world was finally coming to me after waited for two, long hours. I could not miss the bus so I had to watch for it carefully.

Who could stand another four-hour ride back and forth to the border? 

It's was a dilemma. 

If I had a choice, I'd choose the easiest one. But this one was the only thing I can afford. Then no matter how exhausted I was from the past rides since Friday, I cant resist to be in another long ride today -so tired to death.

Who could stand a long motorbike ride while the sun stings you hurtfully? 

I had to. 

This is when I had to comfort myself for having such agony. All I had to do was to wear a jacket and cap in the middle of summer. Forget about the long day.Who would not be paranoid of an accident every now and then? 

Only tough ones. 

But even then no one is insusceptible to danger - we are all. This is when my prayer is earnestly doubled or more. Then at the end of the day, no matter how terrible it was, we are still blessed to have His embrace and protection.



 
Not only a matter of favorite, it's totally a pain in the neck. A hassle one could not wait to end. Lucky you when you haven't been traveling lately. I actually did and that's my point. Yet today was another agony for a long journey. 

I've been riding motorbikes from morning until just a few minutes before dusk. Now I'm home and have posted something on Facebook: got home from a long and winding road just before dusk. Thank God for the traveling mercy. This will certainly remind of the struggle I had today. The situation I would not anticipate again.Before I left the place to the border, I was praying for the right officers. This would mean a smooth processing. But it didn't happen for I had the wrong ones. I got a stamp though. And it didn't change a thing - I'd still say not my favorite day again.