Up to Us

Failures and defeats are right around the corner–they’re only a short distance away. As always, they have been trying to coexist with humans and living side by side with us a decade after another in order to give us the precious lessons of our lives. But it is up to us to take every bit of it (the failure or defeat) a loss forever or a gain towards glory.

A Particular World

Miss this particular world–where chasing a circular thing always makes me feel like the healthiest person ever. I think gained unnecessary weight so much. “Quitter never wins!” I can hear my mind speaks–in unceasing admonition. Yay!

Choir

Nostalgia got to me as I was listening to a particular oratorio tonight. It brought me back to my olden days–took a trip down memory lane when singing in a choir truly played a big part in my life. More than all those words and music to learn by heart, for every note and sign to read with my eyes, and for each symbol and dynamic my mind to comprehend–it was the message of His song which is still real until this time–and it will always be true without a doubt.

Time

Who understands the ticking of the clock so well? I do not think I do. Although it runs constantly as it seems–to those who know little and care less about it–yet we don’t really get the same speed every time. It flies and then it lazes around. When time runs, it rushes your fences. It worries me so much what the future might become. And when it slows down, it bores me to death. I raced against it yesterday. I’m waiting like forever today. Then I’ll have it speak for itself tomorrow.  Sometimes it is easy to get by with time. At times it is out-and-out the irony. A second or a minute or an hour–it is just the evolution of time, but it concerns me when it passes by.  

Dignity

There would be awkward moments in your life–so, so unnerving it would feel when you just had to do something beneath your dignity for the sake of something good. I don’t know your story, but somehow it would hurt that self-important trait within you–when shame really stung to death. But you’ve got your reason or a few to cling to. You have tried because you knew this was better than feeding your own vanity–you realized that pride comes before a fall.   

False Friends

Now that I have reached my age–with various epochs to count–and still hopeful for more years, I wouldn’t be surprised to see false friends would walk away and only a few would stay. Reality had proven this right long ago even before I was born. Alas, I have seen it my eyes not only once. As if I care, I live to tell the tale.

Pride

When pride gets to you, it stings through your inner soul until it forfeits your happiness and purpose for living. But it depends how long one allows this smugness to dwell in him. It burns your skin and it throbs your body unbearably that you just want to rebut the accuser immediately. Don’t baby your pride and before you know it, you are already defeated.

  

Servant Attitude

Only the mortified and the self-effacing spirit will truly understand the true essence of a servant attitude. This I remind myself from day-to-day. It’s in humility one would learn to serve others in spite of what he or she has become. It’s in embracing emptiness one would learn to swallow his or her pride and simply be a servant. Yes, and be a servant–where achievement or prominence is no longer the sixty-four-dollar question. I won’t expect anyone to believe this, but I’ll say it anyway–take it or leave it.

Below the Surface

Even the persons you hold dear would still read your life below the surface the same as anybody else. They would still judge you (oh, that’s too strong) or see your circumstance the way they thought it's like–not necessarily in your favor. So be it and learn to deal with such appraisal. Any way you slice it, everyone feels entitled to an opinion.  

A Secret Leave-taking

I just ticked off another goal on my lists this year. My next move was to spill the beans to some important people. Of course, friends are friends no matter what and they deserve to know. As much as I desired, a quiet exit would be better–a secret leave-taking. No, I don’t think that telling everyone about my decision to turn homeward would make a world of difference to my situation or to my future–not this time. They will figure it out when everything is in place.