Jaded

The past sixteen weeks until tonight I feel so out-and-out drained. But life in this world isn’t compared to a doughnut at all times. Whether or not it is pleasant or in-between, I just have to deal with it. I know it is easier said than done. If only destiny could speak audibly, it could have told me: “He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens.” This is my present circumstance–jaded. Honestly, I am exerting extra efforts to remain firm under my own tribulation–of teaching hours and hours a day, but my weariness is really to the brim–so sick of it. Not sure if I could still take it for another month or even have a ken left for this sitch. No matter how I turned a blind eye to about this how-do-you-do condition, it just stings too much–like so much to bear.

Let me clarify this, I don’t hate teaching but handling kids is a different story. And also I’ve been doing this for seventeen years. You know what it means–it is no longer exciting like it used to. Well, no one said that educating toddlers or young ones is a jackpot or always up for grabs–it’s the total opposite sad to say. Perhaps in my case is age issue. I am getting older and my tolerance with small learners is deteriorating unlike my first ten years in this endeavor. I can still remember vividly my first love for mock teaching as a child, but those were the days. I hope there is an instant cure for being jaded. I would love to experience it right this moment. But this is not how life turns out in reality. For now I just have to connive at this obvious torment of mine. My heart is agonizing, but I am hoping to have a final decision soon–to wait or leave.