Forever

Waved my workplace goodbye yesterday, but even at the remaining hours of my presence, before I'd be out of sight, my boss knew how to tickle me pink still. That is why I was on this unique mountain, Phnom Santuk (which means a Buddha's footprints) to get refreshed after this five-month project. Things have changed for me the past few years, I no longer commit for long term jobs--I rather not, project by project makes it easier for an old guy like me. Today I am in a solitary mood. Tomorrow I will be in the capital city to meet friends and special people. The next days, I will leave them up to the Father above. After all, my life is one step at a time--and so used to this seemingly gypsy or ghetto existence--forever grateful, forever changed, and forever learning. 

Failures

Tell me successes, and I’ll show you failures. What made me inscribe this seemingly odd avowal? The only answer I have is failures–for now. Indeed, the taste of our own victory is undeniably overwhelming. It is a pleasant sensation–nothing but on cloud nine. I exactly had the same beautiful feeling last night, I thought, when another project was done. I rejoiced over my attainment in silence–and yet wounded. I have to leave this place today grappling with mixed emotions–triumphant in one side while an out-and-out irony on the other. This time I have to learn to value another failure like I always do. Yes, it is so typical of us to get carried away with our feats and then forget our losing moments, unmentioned. Pride or ego or fear or shame–these four ominous words will elucidate it all, or explicate if you prefer.

Hush

It was rather rude of me to post my frustrations on social media about a country's or its own people's miscreance towards their tourists--a classic scenario. Or to confront someone gently, with love--only to pacify my disappointments. No way, I don't find delight maligning someone or a domicile even though every thing that happened was a very honest-to-goodness experience. Keeping things to ourselves help us understand them better than whine and whine nonstop. I try to do it sometimes necessarily--if not once in awhile. Whether or not I have the right to voice out my feelings, there will be a time when people around us are not just receptive enough to hear our laments. These days, I am so confronted with two heavy circumstances, but I don't have to choose--I decided to keep this secret to the grave unless someone steals my journal and finds this out. I'l hush for as long as I can.

Executive Director

Traveled through the cities again with my boss this afternoon. What else? Pampered my tired body with a mug of hot coffee helped eased it all. So, so blessed to have a superior like my Executive Director, he's one of a kind. I think have said it a million times before and maybe will tell the same story over and over in the future for as long as my memory will serve me correctly. We just don't work together, we also value our opinions, our feelings, our cultural differences, frustrations, and disappointments the same way we regard successes and accomplishments. We do exchange nuggets of wisdom over coffee talks, but above all this, we respect our own basins--what and who we are and so where we are from. 

Piano

This beautiful, musical instrument really dislikes me, but even then, I will continue to prove it wrong (laugh out loud). I learned to play the piano at the age of sixteen without even knowing where this curiosity would lead me. It took me far beyond my imagination eventually. Definitely not--no, I would not trade my experience sitting at the feet of a kind Music Director and at the batons of other mentors and teachers of the same incantation for any wealth in this earthly life. Those were the days, and I am missing this life and it is calling me home. 

Lanterns

The Festival is still going on and will soon last at twelve noon today. Then we'll leave to another city with my boss in the afternoon. Last night was my first lighting and flying huge lanterns my whole life. It was worth the go despite being sick. People in all walks of life joined the wonderful celebration to keep the tradition exist for another century--or more. While I, wondered looking at every enthusiast lit the big, white object up to the dark sky--perhaps to deliver to gods they believe in an unfulfilled dream or unspoken wish or unanswered prayer or bad luck that still stick within. Culture is beautiful--yes, it is, but I always find constant change within--it drifts away and distorts in its own time. From reality to vivid images, this memory will stay only in the hearts and minds of those who have faith.

Nature's Spot

No matter how rough and tough modernization can become, without a doubt nature has a spot in this planet. And it always brings me pleasure seeing how every living creature stands its ground, persistent--in constant reminders that we are cohabitants. Our greediness, power, and ignorance have been destroying our own planet and humanities. While we have seen our eyes how natures fought back and continue will do unless we care, but humankind are not learning still. Natures are gifts, and are evidences of grace and life. They can be our comfort and joy. And oh, they can kills us as well in case you don't know by now. So choose to love natures. 

  

Farewell Southeast Asia

A few more trips until April--hopefully the last ones to embark, then I'll be done in Southeast Asia. I feel that the world in these areas especially in Greater Mekong are getting smaller and blander for me. Immersed in these amazing and unique cultures for the past eighteen years is already too much I think. I mean in a beautiful way. And so I will add nothing to my bucket lists starting in May and the years beyond about going the same routes. After all those innumerable journeys to count particularity in Indochina, I will make a change of direction--the moment for a detour of a lifetime.

Long Train Rides

In my country's capital, Manila, it is impossible for commuters (count me in) not to take trains--it is part of us and in our day-today routines going through from city to another. A friend of mine, in his winning essay once elaborated the dramas including the many faces of riding a metro rail transit--a rainbow monochrome. There he prolifically described comfort and speed and joy for those who love the rides. But long ride like this time is a different story especially for people who don't have much time to travel. It is discomfort, eternal trip, and agonizing. But not for me. I was actually surprised to love the ride. It wasn't only cheap (a dollar and a half ticket for five-hour journey to Southern Thailand), but you will also get to know the culture in this particular side of the country.

Wat-cha-ma-cal-it?

I was trying to get one good shot at least out of these bunch of enormous feather white grasses (they look pampas to me though) which are standing tall, beautiful--swayed by the cold gentle wind under the stunning sunset of the south. But the train was at its constant speed that I struggled to capture what I really wanted. Fortunately, here's the best one left from those endless clicks. I don't even understand what this photography like or called--wat-cha-ma-cal-it image perhaps. 

   

Good-hearted Travelers

Traveling can also mean meeting good-hearted people along the way without prejudices or hints of racisms--they talk to you, play around, hangout in genuine hospitality. Stick to these kind of persons. Bigots are everywhere and they are just around the corner waiting for someone to devour with their untamable behaviors and deadly foul words. Some are actually devils in disguise--when they hiss and roar, they will chill you to the bones. But don't worry, there are also kind and loving people who will travel with you through along the way. So journey with these angels.

Bangkok Trip

Coffee anyone? I am sending my love from the sidewalk, at the cafeteria along Hua Lamphong train station. I am freezing at the moment. I think have brought the cold weather with me from Vientiane. This is just a morning transit and I will be leaving by train again to Southern Thailand in a few hours' time. Funny me, but I am beginning to adore Bangkok now--but not with my previous visit and countless travels in this city. I come here once a year at least (or a few times in rare circumstances). Like today, my second already this year, in two weeks. Not sure though if I am still be able to come again this year (better not to say not), but let see--I don't mind now actually. I am tempted to admit that Bangkok is part of me now.

The City Library

Mostly the trips I had been to, wherever, I would always look for a library. And for as long as it was visible and of reach, I really allotted time for this. I enjoyed visiting libraries so much--until now. Of course, taking photos was a bonus. From elementary to my post grad years, I was always nowhere to be found but at the house of books. If I was needed, my friends or classmates knew where to find me--at the library. Even if I weren't an educator perhaps, things wouldn't change--I would always find delight indulging the place. But the most comfortable, elegant, and welcoming library  I have been to so far was the Bangkok City Library. Do you want to know why? Please consider, go, and discover it yourselves.

Surprising Train Ride

Leaving Bangkok and I am on an evening train to Vientiane, Laos. The train is so cool, very clean with free WiFi to take advantage to and with a very super comfortable sleeping berth. It is so impressive. This is not the normal train I used to take for countless times--tonight I am so surprised--delighted to be on this ride.I could live here forever if only destiny permits. I consider this ride a jackpot--not really, a blessing instead to indulge even for only an overnight. So let me have this joyride--a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence not knowing if I could still take the same luxurious type coming back. Well, I am enjoying the present and let the future take care of itself. If it is meant to be, then it will be for sure. Thank God for such a surprising train ride. 

Candid

Of all the actions I was really looking forward to see during our recent international tournament--not this one--though--this got me and made my day today. But this was  not it. Let me be sentimental for awhile. Many times in life, we were caught unaware of things that came our way--bad and good. At times, we were so captured in between dilemma not knowing what to decide. Sometimes, we were squeezed in surprises and found ourselves flabbergasted if not in awe. In rare scenarios, moments were very indecisive only to realize we were counting candid goings-on out of the blue. 

Winter in Dry Season

Thanks to my only crimson sweater during this trip. It saved my life a lot. Let say it was grace of wisdom to carry this with me around--in this seemingly winter dry season. I didn't have an intention to put it on but suddenly I remembered I was here in Laos exactly the same cold days two years ago (it was even colder I think back then). If one actually tries to live a better-safe-than-sorry life, he or she would always find a way to security and away from hassles. Although the weather is killing me because I am not really a fan of such season, but it is grace for others. With this sweater, I am sure I'm alright.     

Same

I hate the fact that the person who took these photos didn't put his heart into this. If only he knew how much this means to me, then he would probably do a repeat. The man with me in these blur images is no other than the Executive Director of JUMP! Foundation. I met  (except him)the rest of his team last year when they conducted a training in an N.G.O. where I am currently connected. Although I normally work behind the scene (editing proposals and consultation)--it doesn't matter. It is always a great thing to know people of the same heart, mind, purpose, and endeavors in life. The plus thing, we actually play the same sport and we are in Bangkok for the same reason this weekend--to compete for the Ultimate Frisbee International Tournament. Hoping to be in one team with him.

Landmark

Funny how this huge landmark wasn't of help. It didn't help when we needed it the most playing hide and seek with my friends. We were supposed to meet in this area--for a long day get-together. But something happened unfortunately. We were only a few meters away. I will always remember this crazy experience--this time in a thankful way. Anyway, it turned out a beautiful disaster in the end still. Lesson learned, patience and more room for consideration. We didn't really see the other side of the story (for the both concerned), and we tried to be more understanding even though some things around us seem to be a tragedy. 

  

Ritual in Bangkok

Like I said, I fancy parks especially in the morning. This is one of the rituals I do whenever destiny brings me here in Bangkok--in Khao San to be exact. Seeing how nature in its splendor unites and collides with the intimidating taunt of modernity, can't help but fall for it. I normally sit here mesmerized--thankful for the free gifts of God's and man-made finished works--with a cup of hot coffee in my hand. This is where I give my complete attention listening to the sound of creations--undisturbed from the noise of artificial existences. With this kind of a quiet place, it is very pleasant to reflect things--where wonders of nature and unique architectural stuff help beautify the ambiance. What can I say but to be grateful for this unusual morning I have. 

Bangkok

When you are with someone who moves like a turtle and doesn't care much about time, you should start saying a prayer. And then there the sky cried cats and dogs unexpectedly trying to spoil my morning. I almost missed my ride today. So much for waking up so early. The rest of the story was a miracle though. I usually arrive in Bangkok at late night, but this time I got in this mega city before dusk. It was a real jackpot--a blessing rather. Now I am ready to bid the world goodnight. Sleep tight everyone! 

Trod

There were times, like countless instances when I went solo flights. The rest of those were traveling with locals. Seldom I did a group trip with international bunch of people. And booked a package tour was the rarest I tried. I prefer the first two options because that's when I understand what wandering is all about and see things the way the insiders perceive. Yesterday, we walked where angels trod--where devotion, goodness, hospitality, and service are imprinted in the hearts of the community. Religion is not about a fight or who embraces a true mark. Although the ride was like eternal and there weren't much interesting things to take photo of, but not all things are visible in the eyes. Most of them are hidden in the hearts of some people--they are only visible with an open heart to look through them. Have a blessed Sunday! 

Bosses

I may not be rich or the most sought after career man or the one that is regarded as famous educator humans would know, but I am always grateful to have been blessed with kind-hearted bosses. They are not just mere superiors, but they do value my worth--who affirm, motivate, encourage, and treat me like a family. Seldom you'll find them in this selfish world. They may not have all the riches men could claim, but their passion to excellence and goodness are very infectious along with compassion to people and to the poor, and overwhelming vision towards philanthropic works--therefore for me a true wealth--my pure joy.

Singing

Except singing, I had always been a late bloomer in so many things growing up. Maintaining a good academic record was one explicit example. The nurturing at home affected me perhaps--no, this is not a proposition but only an assumption. I could sing forever for as long as my vocal adrenaline allowed. These photos are constant reminders what I was passionate about--when miracle after miracle had proven me wrong. Only a faith of a mustard seed what was required of me. I was sixteen, year one at the University when I joined this band. To learn all sorts of genres always piqued my curiosity. I no longer sing for a living these days (as a wedding singer for instance) but once a lover of music will be fanatic till the end of time. I still sing especially when no one is around.

   

Sons

They were only young, purely innocents when God gave me them. "And look at these boys now," I said, reminding myself over and over. Time really flies and with the ticking of the clock unnoticed. They have grown wiser and independent--in hopes they have prayed they will become. Wish I'm there watching out every second of their lives as they keep chasing their dreams. It seems I didn't do much or enough--it is because I asked Abba, Father to do the rest. And oh, one of them is getting married so soon. I still can't believe it, but I know and he knows that I trust his guts and abilities. He'll be fine. What a milestone to embrace, but I am at peace knowing that my Maker will show His sufficient grace without a doubt. I pray that His unceasing love will follow my son for the rest of his life. And that His mercies never come to an end. I love you guys to the moon and back.