Disappointed

Achievements and successes are not marks of a true character. It is how we deal with everyone keeping our heads down. You might think you're on top while others are struggling to keep that pace. I rather go with the company of the latter-not a fan of arrogance or indifferent people. Of course, I understand, you do not have to like every person, but just don't show it too obvious. Wished I could bark at the right person directly but that concerned individual was drunk to comprehend what I was trying to say. That person was so narrow-minded at that moment. Time will come when this person is ready enough.   

Groupie

I do treat my learners fair enough, albeit much time is spent with the struggling. My morning class is a joy and fun to handle with-if not there would be no groupie. I am half truth kidding. These photos are proof. These are my advanced learners who never cease to inspire me every single day. I don't mind getting small pay for as long as my learners are receptive and inquisitive. I have been an ESL teacher for seventeen years, despite struggles, I trying to love teaching still.

Someone's Milestone

Last night was another special occasion to witness. So glad to have seen someone's milestone who is so dear to me. I have mentored him as an ESL teacher for five long years. It was also awesome catching up with former students who hailed from different provinces of Cambodia just to attend the big celebration. Time really flies-they were only eager learners in the past few years but now are working professionals. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. 

The Boy

For many years have avoided coke victoriously, but not these past few days. Let this scorching heat take all the blame. I admit, it did satisfy my thirst but didn't please my soul especially seeing a little boy in need. And there I was indulging some drinks, trying to get quenched. Although I pretended not to care but God knows I wasn't ignoring him. In fact my heart breaks seeing every single afternoon in my class, When I could no longer hold my sympathy, I asked one of the teachers two direct questions: "Why has this boy been wearing the same old rugged shirt every day? And why he doesn't have books?" Well, no one could really get good answers from indifferent person-exactly nothing.

I told the boy to follow me in the office. And with the help of an interpreter, my son, I was able to get some information from him (the boy). I was touched by his story and so I bought him three textbooks sand a pair of uniforms he needed-hopefully can bless more. I don't earn that much and that is not the issue or hindrance to share what I have at the moment-I chose to bless still and will always do. I was once like this boy for many years-a struggling orphan who wanted a breakaway. God found me in this situation and I do believe He will encounter this boy the same. For now, a small sacrifice is needed and thankful to the Father for the opportunity to bless. Actually he is not the only one who is having a hard life, I am seeing few more individual kids. I pray for a sensitive heart.

My Young Learners

Sometimes I feel like chalking it up to language barrier, but it is out of the context I think in regards to this repetitive circumstance. My afternoon classes are real pain in the neck and so I had to work triple or more in the name of classroom management-most of the time had to rise to the challenge. And my experience in years couldn't even guarantee to keep this halo around my head at all times. I got impatient too-like today. 

This class is the most talkative and the messiest that a struggling teacher can handle. Despite of this, I know that there is always a way out-this time through brainstorming and teamwork activities. I usually do this to defy rote learning. On the one hand, it is a good example to supply non-dormant activity to learners like these. Through these activities, they are taught to help one another as they discuss such worksheets at hand. Above all, a thought is instilled that every idea matters and  respect to each voice is also significant.   

A Beautiful Reunion

Perhaps the rest took it as a rumor-has-it information and so it didn't turn out a grand reunion. Whatever reason they had in mind for not able to come, I'd take it still. A small get-together was all expected anyway. Happy to say, it was another unforgettable weekend worth writing down. But from a perspective of a father, a teacher, and a mentor who has seen these young adults grown one step at a time, I had mixed feelings. Had to hold back my emotions the whole time through. Nothing ever stays the same. That forever thought of something or someone will eventually change. As I tried to capture every moment using my phone, every action almost killed me-it was like waking up every moment in dejavu-forever nostalgic. 

Years ago I asked this question, "Why me and why here?" when there could have been someone else richer and powerful or when I could have been somewhere easier to live. Now it is a true revelation indeed that God's grace doesn't revolve around me alone. What they have become this time are fruit of those who prayed, gave and sacrificed. From those endless struggles I thought-all I had to do was cling to His mercy every single second-now resulted a beautiful transformation.

   

Little Monks

The normal weekends with these little men are in a classroom learning English and a real-life conversation with only foreigner in the village-me. Today was out of the ordinary seeing myself in one car with these little monks. Behind this story was a spur-of-the-moment decision. I was persuaded to join the ceremony in Ort Dong Torng Wat which was spearheaded by women in different communes. Glad I came.

Although it is not a rare scenario, this teaching endeavor was special arrangement, and told from the start to only teach English-nothing less, nothing more. As culture dictates, I cannot befriend them because I am way older and also they are monks. It doesn't bother me though. I will keep this plain and simple teacher-learner acquaintance-for now. "Why am I doing this?" is another inquisition I won't elaborate further at this moment in time. I'm not sure either if this question tickles me pink or my fancy or to death. One thing I know is that I am led to do and let the Father has his own direction from here. After all, these kids deserve an education like any ordinary pupil. Then let me plant seeds of goodness and kindness in their hearts to start with. 

Materials

"Sorry kids, that's all I can afford for now. But I am not giving up." It was another self-talk wish could have just left in the classroom. Now I am turning up the volume of my silent cry a bit louder. No, I do not have a messianic complex, it is just a tiny concern to be worried sick Maybe this place is just so isolated that I have to make use of every little thing I got for the sake of fun and creative learning. Of course, I do understand that every material used is only a facade-it is the teaching that counts. And oh, I forgot...along with passion, love, and devotion.

"Make it, Take it", this is how we call it i ESL world. But this is just no ordinary idea because it involves defying the author's misconception of a specific learner providing lousy activities-most of the time irrelevant and boring. We have learned to manipulate every lesson and never really trust textbooks. This is what this fussing all about. And what I just got on the board isn't that really satisfying.

Right or Wrong

Like this red melon among the greens, the world has to see the difference in us. In a surrounding where dividing line between good and evil isn't that apparent-everything is but a norm, then do something at least. No one dies by making a gentle stand. Let the right be wrong.

Border to Border

For as long as my life evolves in this place I called second home, a visa run is hope against hope detachable-where drama or miracle or favor or hassling happens at random-bound by policy and yet it is like a loose-leaf which grace comes in freely, abounding.  

I got used to this non-negotiable and a-must-to-do list of my life-going in and out of borders wish never exist. But things have changed suddenly including my strength and health. Now laziness is also interfering because I am completely in the opposite side of the world. It will take me two days back and forth to fulfill this significant task. Like I said, just have to deal with it-it is a must-it is never more than necessary.  

Teenagers

"So you're not in school? Are you?" I asked the teenager who works for a small coffee shop. "Nah, tenth grade was enough. Besides, school isn't really for me." He expressed his personal opinion. Wish  I could prove him wrong, but he is earning and sends money back home. Unlike many schooled teens I know who can't even tell diligence and laziness apart-all they do is waste time. Part of the program we do here in empowering young people including dropouts and marginalized is highlight alternative learning. Find things they are good at or want to explore so that they have something to use to put food on the table. House keeping, receptionist, agriculture, tutorials, cooking, translator, and tourist guide are only few of the examples. 

"I want to be a doctor or a scientist or a teacher or la lawyer or an engineer. And I want to be an agent of change.'' They say. "Yeah, right, but changes begin a home. Start with simple things like make your bed before leaving for school, put back the stuff where they belong after use, flush the toilet bowl, wash your own dishes perhaps, clean your surrounding, tidy up your room-these are essentials too aside from holding books and pen." I say. How can you change the world when you couldn't even change your home including yourself? Transformation occurs when your are able to handle booth small and big responsibilities. Again it starts in you, at home. 

Sleeping in Pagoda

I am not the man of the world-no, not yet, but my immersion in Buddhist countries including their cultures and education for almost seventeen years taught me respect, acceptance, and deeper grace. And so I couldn't imagine how rude it turned out if I refused an invitation from a monk (my new boss) to sleep in Wat or pagoda. Why would I do that!? You heard me right. My two new superiors, the teaching staff, and myself spent the night over on Mount Ta O Wat in Kirivong. After all, it didn't make me any less of a child of God. 

Although it was my first to have such experience, but I've been to many temples for countless chances. Besides, I had taught English classes to monks in the past. So I don't mind. To tell you the truth, I don't find them intimidating but very kind.The first time we went up to the mountain was by car. The second time around we rode our motorbikes-the better and exciting. For two reasons: I enjoy stargazing and listening to the sound of creations in chorus at night. Yes, I slept in pagoda two nights in a row-much more comfortable than my tiny quarter. 

  

Endeavor

Over the mountains, lakes, villages, and fields, it is my utmost desire to bring an integrated education-the ESL and holistic social action to the greatest distance my feet can go. I am not so alone with kind of good deeds, but have known many individuals to be honest. This may not be the most amazing feat of human endeavor, but I consider this a noble gesture still-a not selfish way to engage with the Master's business.

Right here at the very foot of the mountain, my life will be busier again for the next six months. I pray for wisdom and strength from everyday mental and physical exertion. This is my new home and environment, but not the work in itself. I am currently doing a project-training local teachers, teaching classes by examples, and also designing programs/curriculum for this N.G.O. in particular. And oh, do please remind me, living together with new faces and friend is for sure a challenge and a joy. I might as well shoot for the moon, but it is not for selfish gain-I'm sticking to my utmost desire still.    

Over The Moon Conversation

Not done with the father and son scenario yet. And here I come again so over the moon from a conversation with one of my sons last night. "Director of Studies is so huge. And it took me a few years after grad school to attain such position". I told this young man who is a year three student in the University. "I may have surpassed you, but I wasn't all alone after all-we did it together."He commented thankfully and modestly. 

For a mentor or a teacher or a father or all of the above, there is no greater joy I think than seeing a learner succeed. They can surpass me even a million times-bigger, higher, farther-it doesn't bother me at all. Like the rest of my kids and learners the past years and now are living dreams, my prayer is that this son (who was once my learner as well) will continue to be on top...humble and kind. As an assiduous educator in this diminutive world of mine, I only receive friendship over and above staple-neither wealth nor praises. Never mind for I have let my selfish desire gone with the wind. .

New Home

It was already late at night when my team got here from hours and hours of traveling on Sunday evening. For that reason, I couldn't really see or even predict what the whole village was like. As an old habit, wherever the journey brings me, I prefer not to expect big time-it is never my instinct. "Surprise me!"I said a few words, a self-talk, then bade the world sweet dreams.

Morning came and woke up so excited wondering what the has something to brag...a bolt from the blue or the irony of it all-piqued my curiosity still to the fullest. I started eyeing on the ordinary what the common villagers or strangers perhaps don't notice. Lo and behold, as one of the staff toured me around, before me stand extraordinary creations. I was in endless awe, This is just my standard, the rest of the words I'll leave it to you to judge the sceneries yourselves. Thank God for this new home. 

Stamps

Got back home from the early morning motorbike ride to Phnom Den (Cambodia-Vietnam Borders) for visa stamps. 'Twas the first time in a long while. My boss and I used to do this visa run every twenty-one days for a few years, but not the past sixty months. Memory after another flashed before me-there was so much to tell including miracles in odysseys. 

As always, this long and winding road has never been a fan of safety with dangers and accidents to mind. But I ignored them a n diverted my attention to every good thing to behold along the way. Those every beautiful mountains that are still standing for centuries-smiling. The green grass and yellow fields that grow in season and out-so welcoming. The cold wind that refreshes one's senses-so soothing. All these are gifts and so inseparable in these short journeys. Those who have been in this route for countless times (count me in), there is not much to see in fact except traces of God's grace, mercy, and goodness that make this uncomfortable routine meaningful-and worth writing down.