None in May

Except for new faces on Facebook and few people I’ve met for real, this month is nothing special. My word is my bond, and so I intend to keep my promise about what I said the last post. There will be no purr or whine from then on. I’ll try to stay positive and keep that upbeat mood despite nothingness.

A day more to go, and it opens another chapter of unpredictable reality–who knows what tomorrow brings–it won’t matter whether it is from somebody’s upshot or a destiny’s outcome or from my own decision–I need to get going from this emptiness–and so the month itself.

I’m not saying this is an unusual month to indulge especially to an active person like me. Life is an endless cycle–I know. This is in fact expected but not predicted. It just happened in the month of May. It could happen anytime of the year.

“No, it’s not a failure!” my heart and soul keep are in constant hark back. This is just an open arena to learn and relearn what life is like–it’s never a fiasco. And I should value every lesson brought into being from this days and days of barrenness.

There is nothing to feel sorry about because I am not in control of the world including all the little things therein. When it happens, it happens.

No regret whatsoever for life is full of next time to anticipate. That is why there is evening and so morning–life is an endless motion–and only foolish people find it static. There’s always hope to count.

Few hours from now, I can’t wait to spring in my step. No, no, not in a manner of one stride forward, two strides back, but like a persistent climber–just one step at a time. I’ll be fine.

Soon my countdown ends from this seemingly lasting suffering–when and where no beautiful story to put into words–only marks of sadness and brokenness–not even a hint of an angel to see. Cést la vie.

Perhaps I’ll find somewhere else the unstinting existence I deserve. And for this book’s sake, I need to go on to find a myriad of benign angels to live with and learn good things from. I am not making a conclusion that there’s none here, it’s not just here this time.

No journey with angels??? None in May–not the past thirty-one days–but it’s so OK.