Gripping Grace

On the face of it–right here in mint condition of mine–when a day’s endurance really matters like it has never been fervently prayed for. I failed every second to understand these trials I am in. I stumbled into it time and again–when my situation left me in the lurch.

So sick of people who pretend they’re friends but it’s the irony sad to know–full of hypocrisy and double standards. And so I asked for more grace each moment in order to get through another twenty-four hour of agony.

I’m not stupid not to figure out hidden intentions. Needless to say, I don’t have to read lips to catch sight of those obvious shrugs, motions, and gestures because action speaks louder than words unfortunately. Hold on to that pretense and I will do all I can to prove your insincerity.  

  

My apology, but this will be my last lament to mind. I will not express my whining ever again in the near future. By this time next week, I will have moved on already talking about wonderful things–where journey with angels continue.     

Frankly, I don’t have any plans not to expose my status these past five months–for many chances I did for sure. I have been in the grip of the worst recession of my life–but not defeated. And so I am dreadfully gripping God’s grace like I had never done it this way.

Hope change will take place anytime soon–casting out false hopes, driving them away where they belong. I don’t want to hear them anymore. I need no clanging cymbals.

Wish there will be a hint of assurance to see–then it’s an answered prayer to name. If it will happen, I will double everything–from being hard worker to being kind.

Pray that my situation will get better–that’s all I ask for now. I am so tired of this moribund career and motionless stage I have been engaging the past twenty weeks. Don’t I deserve life?

Twenty-four seven in this appalling circumstance is not a good sign. It’s time to reflect more and pray my hardest. I know I’m not the only one in this kind of experience, and so I will pray for them too.

For the time being, I will continue to grip God’s grace dreadfully until that day will come–hope not until the cows come home though. And that in this period of waiting and a seemingly endless battle against unpleasant things, I will find joy, peace, and answer eventually to what I have been looking for. May His grace will continue to find me.