Slow

Now the fifth month of the year, but it feels like the slowest progress I’ve ever engaged my entire time in this place of abode. You can tell the way I update my blog by the look of things. Although I envisaged endless cons for this year’s theme, it’s just so drowning and draining–because real angels aren’t too thick on the ground. 

There’s no regret without a doubt, not just used to seeing myself in this stagnant stage though–it is weirdly realistic. Life is actually very colorful, and this one seems leaden. Let’s see where it gets me in the end.   

As I have mentioned in one of my past articles, I don’t usually rely on my feeling or mood to write–but from my day-to-day-experience. And so my reason for not being able to slog so often is the absence of inspiring episode that is worth an eye or telling–it’s not fully happening yet these five months.  

I am not giving up of course. If this was a fight, I’m so willing to throw down the gauntlet to prove my willingness and my contender. Perhaps the sluggishness of this year’s lifecycle is a variation. Then let me learn to take it this way. 

Hopefully after this odd picture–this up-to-the-minute crisis of my existence, I will come to understand every purpose it exposes very soon. All I can see today is only one-dimensional side, and who knows later it will turn out to be a beautiful tapestry after all this scrupulous rumination. 

I can hear me saying “slow down” but the other part of me is also saying “I am fed up of this slow-motion phase right now” at the same time. For one big reason, I thought my journey with angels this year won’t be that hard to accomplish–it’s completely the opposite.  

Just realized that it’s not always a noisy travel or a lively trip to take (although there’s footfall to hear the typical way), it is actually being buoyant no matter what in this unpromising year. And it takes grace to learn this lesson–when my brain and emotion are unsettled still. Stay positive is the right attitude to act on.  

The ticking of the clock is fast, but the pace where I am heading is very slackening–it’s like winter all year long. I don’t feel like have accomplished that much this season. It’s boring still in spite of everything.  

“Because angels come necessarily, I think.” I comforted myself. And no matter how bursting I am to go, to meet, and to journey with good hearted people, I am not in control of time or every activity under the sun. Now let my spirit settles down and chills out–it’s my prayer. 

And from this unwanted scenario, hope I am beginning to let the movement of time freely, slow down for as long as it desires. It is out of my hand.