Concluding 2013

Everything I had in mind might haven’t conceived this year, but I think have said enough my thoughts including the most delicate issue on earth – right in this blogspot – where endless journey begins and where every motion counts as the same worth.

Heaps of thanks to faithful followers and readers– who were there traveling with me in spirits, and trod the path I trod – as always. My apology for not able to tell each story along the way – we all know I still got so much more to tell. I will try to write them next year. 

This year isn’t my year if I had to look back all the devastation that struck my country, but in the name of camaraderie and supports of other countries, we find hope still – now it’s up to us whether to move on or dwell. For sure, like many hopefuls, I couldn’t wait to leave this year behind – to learn from those pains but bring only joys with me as I face another uncertain year.

God bless everyone!

Just had my yearly goal check a while ago, which I traditionally do at the end of the year. It surprised me big time how my potential is fully maximized – it didn’t matter whether each accomplishment made was tiny or gigantic – for every endeavor was undeniably significant. 

While goals for my own self, I had done few, but I am not giving up those unfulfilled dreams yet. I am going to include them in my lists again in this year’s goal even if it takes patience to wait or a paradigm shift to take or more effort to exert.

Help me, God!

Travel, sport, volunteer work, R&R, and meeting friends are overflowing this year, and so I am not going to let this year go with ungrateful heart – I am very thankful for all these blessings – truly I am.

Back to blogging, next year’s series will be a total change of format and concept, but it’s in vain still without you reading them. If you have spare time, please feel free to drop by and join me in my endless journey. Thank you for your support. 

To my family, relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, students, countrymen, and people of the world, have a blessed and successful New Year ahead of us. 

HAPPY 2014!

Somebody's Children

These aren’t mine biologically – not even a shared kinship, but they call me “daddy” – an address that breaks my heart and makes me joyful at the same time knowing what this truly denotes.

Some of them have abandoned by their own fathers – it’s the sad part while I took the courage to fill in that longing – the happiest part one unmarried guy should be proud about.

I have fathered few kids back home, and so in Vietnam, but it was only in Cambodia that I have fathered a dozen after a dozen. It was so overwhelming at first, but then it came naturally as I took every opportunity to reach out kids of this kind…a fatherless and motherless.

Obviously, I’m not qualified to be called father in the name of family code or constitutional law because of my marital status. And yet I have learned to embrace certain responsibility even if it took me defying the rules – when no one was there to prove their constitutional rights. More than that, it was an honor to fulfill such duty.

“I just don’t want to be a teacher or a mentor or a leader. I want to touch lives deeper.” This I remind myself again and again.

And in a country like Cambodia where older ones couldn’t befriend younger ones, it gave me an eye opening to stretch out my horizon reaching out children when classroom setting isn’t enough – by becoming a father aside from being a teacher or a big brother myself.

I didn’t have to be wealthy or wait till I get old enough to grab this chance; it was a decision a way. And I have no regret whatsoever following this call – which many people I know too who are in the same path.

Taking care of somebody’s children might be the craziest thing one could hear or a real hassle one person to take – not for me – it has been an honor to serve kids like these – where I was once as well.

Not ashamed to tell that I wasn’t fathered well growing up, but I have learned to move on and let go of the past. For in my father’s mistakes I have come to know the important virtue of a father. And if not for this lesson, I don’t think would be able to understand each fatherless or motherless kid.    

They call me daddy and I consider them like my own, but I am not denying the fact they are somebody’s children. Mine now is to help them and serve them while I am still able. I do promise this.

My only prayer is for them to follow this example when they have children their own. And that they will also willing to reach out other fatherless or motherless kids.

Yes, they are somebody’s children – it’s no difference to me at all – I am still their father.

Youngster

“I want to win a lot of friends and influence people” he verbalized what he read.

“You are funny!” I said chuckling.

Forgive me, it wasn’t my intention to ridicule him but I was just caught surprised knowing how this young boy has a different perspective of friendship and leadership, at his age.

Youth at his age are so much into drinking and smoking and computer games nowadays. I wonder if I could always find the right person – like this one.  

A salute goes to the author for inspiring another reader!

Not in my entire life have seen someone young to read such huge and serious book – not in this generation. And so I was wrong with my assumption that adolescents these days never read serious book. You still can count one or a few.   

At least this young man has a view of the future and what is it to become a people-person and of influence. Seldom in a day you would find his kind or would be able to converse interestingly. I had a conversation back home with the same age, he was just so annoying – I could not even get a good conversation out of him.

He is a new friend – not even a year, and so I don’t know him that much. Thanks to this book because I got to know him a little bit – and deeper about his longing of a true friend. Hope this book will change his life for the better.

“I don’t even remember what books I had read at your age.”  I told him.

But for sure, they were spiritual nourishment in my search for spirituality.

The book may huge it seems and too staid for his age, but he finds it very interesting and so I find him rarely fascinating – not a typical modern youngster – he is one of a kind.

We had a good chat – not only about the book itself but many different things as well. Thank God for this new friend.

Christmas Now and Before

Like any hopeful kids, I was always a fan of Christmas. Growing up with so much anticipation of the most wonderful time of the year – when it wasn’t too commercialized yet – all but celebrated with sincerity and meaning.

“I hope this never ends!” I wished, but that was before.

It was always a happy time to cherish. More than all those decorations, carols, gifts, and meals, the spirit of the season never dries. One could always feel it in the air.

Unlike the people of today, I think people in the past had a deeper understanding of this joyous day – we celebrated it differently back then – it was all from the heart.

My family isn’t a freak about this season, but for many years we were witnesses to how my neighbors and friends celebrated the season with true reasons. We were not into this of course, and yet we felt the joy in their hearts.

Where I come from, it wasn’t all about who gives who or who gets what, but about togetherness, love, and service – even the stranger is a family – even my family who never really celebrates Christmas could truly feel the joy of the season .  

From myth to fairytale to fact, I was very familiar with each story told and written – and so I could distinguish differences well even as a child – it was my favorite season to look forward to but not anymore.

If I was born in this generation, I don’t think would be able to believe Christmas or it would be difficult perhaps.  Look around you how selfish and greedy people are. Isn’t it Christmas is about giving?

And in spite of paraphernalia to make the season bright or elegant decors to add life or blinking lights to attract both non and believers, I don’t think would make a difference still. I wonder how others come to believe Christmas these days.

This is my 20^th Christmas away from home, but it doesn’t matter because my family never really celebrates Christmas. I would rather prefer this way than celebrate the season outside the true reason.

Merry Christmas Everyone! 

  

A Commuter

Even in the midst of a hullabaloo  one could still hear my moan about the torture of commuting. I could have been used to it given that I'm not really a stranger with this lifestyle, but here I am struggling.

Not a single day I keep quiet and detest the agony of trekking jam-packed roads – tiny and huge – a stressful ride so to speak.

And as a person along for the ride – who doesn't drive even the cheapest car – to endure is the answer. There is nothing more encouraging word to hear than this. But no matter how seemingly tough that person is, every single patience has an end – in this congested world.

Today isn't my day if I had to stay pessimistic, but each journey one commuter takes could still become a lesson despite unpleasant wandering. It is not easy though to embrace the positive side for a mistake you haven’t done, but of a driver’s. So be it and I had to deal with it in the name of commuting.

You could get lost even in familiar routes because that’s what it takes to relearn things and remember new directions; it is commuting 101.

Because I have been gone for a long time, and so that’s a valid excuse left – when commuting was no longer a lifestyle. Although I have taken the same routes in the past, it is no longer the same in the present time – when constant change is unstoppable…that is part of commuting obviously.

Once when he was still a teenager, an author wrote an award winning essay unveiling the reality and the pressure of commuting – A Rainbow Monochrome – the best write-up I had read detailing the life of a commuter. In one word he spelled such way of life: P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E while I couldn't agree more.

If I had to spell the same existence today, it would be T-O-R-T-U-R-E. I have never been intense whining about this torment, nothing but an affliction in my daily life in Manila – where commuting is just endlessly needed.

Thanks to a friend for giving me a ride so I could visit her parents (my co-workers in the vineyard) whom I haven’t seen in ages. For a commuter like me, it was a super-duper blessing to be able to skip a routine once in a while.

And only people of the same situation can identify what I am trying to say. If not, try to commute daily and hail from the southern to the northern parts of this overcrowded place – then you can feel the pain and hassle.

For as long I am here – I'm a commuter – like any others who are also suffering.

Shoo!

Goal wise, I am still able to post a minimum of sixty articles this year – trying to go against the strong current of idleness – when words are only up to head. Thanks for the grace which makes all thoughts possibly incarnate when every cell and muscle seem unmotivated to function – now it’s my sixtieth write-up to publish.
  

Life is like a roller coaster of course, and so my adventure as a blogger, but I still contest the idea that writing takes mood – it’s not – again, it takes an experience to tell and an inspiration to confess both the good and bad things along the way.

Regardless how big or small one’s eyes are – the beauty and the awfulness of things around is unlimited – one has stories to show or tell still at the end of the day – but not when laziness is around tempting – stuck.

This isn’t the normal me when it comes to blogging – I am a goal keeper in fact and a slogger to the extreme. But my routine has changed since I got here in Manila. I have been so lazy the whole time I am here. And this unwillingness to work or make an effort really surprises me to the max.

   

If one could only read through 3D-glasses what I have in mind, that person then would be surprised to know the volume of stories I am keeping in my head for two months – yet untold – not one of them has been written down so far. I just hope it won’t take another month to shoo this laziness or else my spot would be quiet again.

Shoo!

Since it’s the sixtieth article – it means I’ve reached my minimum goal for this year – just hope it will not drive me complacent. And before it gets me again, I have to wave this idleness away. Shoo!

Not my last posting for sure because I still have a lot to say, this is only a portion of my overwhelming joy for such a success in my entire time as a blogger – five years to count. And before this laziness hits me the next time around, let me shoo it now!

Of course, it takes God’s strength chase or drive idleness away – so far away that it won’t destruct me any more  And I don’t want to tolerate the same feeling again.

 A big and loud SHOO!

Wednesday Ride

Although my nephew is an expert rider and driver, but I was wary still to hop on his motorbike – to hit the road in this enormous city that only tough riders would attempt and grace dependents would bash.

This is his daily route and life, but not mine. And so this ride was very uncomfortable for me. The only time I got to see all the beautiful scenarios was taking a bus, a jeepney, and a train patiently – so safe – in years.

But today was atypical as we went through congested cities. I haven’t been observant as this in my own country beholding each city old and new – in a motorbike ride – a seemingly joyride that a person like me wouldn’t usually dare.

“You’re the only person who has convinced me for such a ride here in Manila, not even my best friend.” I told my nephew, Louie.

It was the first time ever to have a stab at something like this one and jumped out from run-of-the-mill motion. I am grateful I did hop on because this experience brought me something that ordinary commuters will not see in just one or two or three rides. It will take a journey with a nephew on a Wednesday ride.

We started the ride in Makati and went through each modern city and ancient city in Manila. If not for this ride, I don’t think would be able to see a different perspective of each place from a commuter’s eyes like me.

And if not for this ride, don’t think I could catch sight of places of this huge city that buses or trains or jeepneys couldn’t go. Thankful I gave myself a shot because my life had never been the same even for this teeny-weeny moment of an adventure with my nephew.

Aside from seeing new things around, I didn’t realize had been to some of these seemingly unfamiliar places in the past. It only took a motorbike ride to be reminded again and to reminisce once more the long, forgotten journeys when I was still a commuter in this mega city. 

Despite the scorching heat of the sun including the body aches and headache it caused, I was happy still to make the decision because it was one in a million rides to consider. 

Amidst stresses and what this overcrowded world has to offer, my experience for the day was extremely worth riding – on this beautiful day – a Wednesday ride, I don’t know if it will come again.

Alley

“Because I am not a city person” I rather said than regret in the end for saying a terrible comment. Although she is my friend and we’re grown-up individuals, but these aren’t good excuses still for a blunt remark. And so I was right for keeping what I had in mind – a different preference – if possible to stay away from her place – an alley – a home to someone but not mine.

I may have come from a very poor family and brought up in a barrio lifestyle, but I would not settle in a place like this – a mega city – and not in this alley.

I may have hailed from a laid back environment while she is the irony of it all, and yet this isn’t what I understand a sheer bliss. I don’t belong where she lives – and will never be.  

    

The only time I am stuck here on and off, for more than a decade is a valid reason of course – my siblings have found their greener pastures in this alley for now. So I come and visit them whenever I am around. Like any dwellers who share the same rights, this is where they belong they say – only if there’s no choice.

Legally wise, I can be a resident here like my siblings, but I didn’t bother considering the possibility. For one obvious reason is my prejudice against this alley itself. I never like how each person in the community treats another person.

This place is not for me, but I respect every situation each resident has and each choice they made to be a part of this community. A home is not limited to physical structures or the presence of tranquility anyway– it’s where the heart is as one writer says – whether in this alley or not.  

Despite the number of chances I have tried immersing and welcomed a lifestyle not my own, at the end of each day I’d still say…this is not my life. Therefore, I don’t have to sweet-lemon the scenario. I don’t belong in this alley.    

It took many silent years to express this feeling but not judgment. So not in the position to condemn – this is just another way of saying…I am a stranger of the way of life here still. And God knows how I make an effort each time around, but it doesn’t change a thing that I am not for this alley. 

Aside from simply residing, I also tried hard to build a good rapport to the neighborhood and so I am in the right perspective to say something. I may not know everyone from head to toe, but I can see what’s going on every single day – the kind of life which surprises me and scares me to death. Isn’t it action speaks louder than word?

Hope I don’t sound rude or reproachful for speaking my thoughts in this manner.  

This alley isn’t a slum but the behaviors of some are no different. Some of them live and behave worst than those in slum areas. And so how can a village person like me adapt a lifestyle here?

It's Home Still

Now back to undesired routines – things I would not surely miss away from home. But for a person who never owns a car, doings like these including the hustle and bustle are joined at the hip – the agony of a commuter.

Once or twice, and now it’s countless times to mind the number of tricycle rides I had in less than a week. It’s been a month and it will take a little longer to endure the torture of the traffic congestion in this mega city.

For as long as I’m in my own domicile, riding a jeepney every single day is not a choice but a must. Again and again, this is when paranoia hits me the most – not knowing who you’re sitting next to – whether an alien with an evil intention or an angel in disguise.

Riding a bus excites me a lot, but it’s a different story in Manila. I don’t have to elaborate the toxicity of the pollutant released into the atmosphere and the stresses it brings to a traveler – it’s self-explanatory – but not the fear of danger from wicked people – it wears someone out even before one gets home.

Thanks to MRT for the option when EDSA is just too much to go through, but it’s not always an excellent mean to take – for even this seemingly comfortable ride can turn someone’s day upside down.   

Despite all these hassles that get on my nerves… this is home still. I may not be a city person who tries hard enough to beat this lifestyle, a huge place I don’t think I belong, but have to endure it for now – for sure a while.

It took five years to come back home – a two-and-a-half-hour flight – hopefully not a plight.

So grateful for the early morning flight because it only took us few minutes by taxi to leave the airport and get home straight and safe – it was a real jackpot.

With or without special reason and occasion – I’m home. With or without daily rides to take – it is home still. As many people profess, “There is no place like home sweet home.” and so my heart does.