Coming
here in Saigon today isn’t about seeking
political asylum, but a precautionary measure in case worst scenario arises.
Heaven forbid! After all, I’m not a citizen of Cambodia, and it’s about safety
first. My heart is in earnest prayer for a peaceful election.
Forgive
me because I really can’t help it. My thought is preoccupied with so many
things as I crossed the border this morning. What if? And many more “what ifs”
I could imagine. I understand that these are just illogical feelings or
unreasonable beliefs called paranoia.
I’ve
been restless the past few days thinking about this unpredictable political scenario.
One big reason is my love for this country and the people. I apologize if my
head is running wild this time. But it’s not a mortal sin to worry about
dangers, is it?
But
even then, expatriates have different reactions and outlooks on the situation at
hand – some take it seriously while others take the opposite stand. In spite of
warnings from respective embassies about the possible political unrest during
or after the election, not everyone buys the idea. I just hope it won’t lead to
full-scale civil war as worried minds think. God forbid!
On
my way to the bus station, I got stuck in traffic for twenty minutes due to motorcade
election campaign. From the city to the border, all but parades in white
shirts, endless sound of election jingles, and hopeful shouts of victory. There
my mind went wild again thinking of others who are left behind. I felt uneasy
and unhappy all the more – it was just paranoia for sure.
I
could have entitled this article a “political paranoia” alone, but it involved
prayer to understand this seemingly normal scene – when you don’t really get or
hear the truth. As I said, I’m no voter and so leave it to the right people.
It’s not my business to mind. Yet, my spirit is in constant prayer for a
fruitful election.
Paranoia
or overreaction or anxiety or fear, still won’t make this story complete
because it took prayer more than just wishful thinking to battle a heavy heart
– when worries never end – and all I could do is stay safe and pray.
Am
I safer now that I am out of the country?
For
one obvious circumstance maybe and yet I also believe that aside from war anyone
could also die even from sleeping. This is not about my own death which worries
me for it never chills me to the bone, but it’s about people killing people
unnecessarily in greed for power or in pursuit of peace for all.
I
could have stayed as much as I preferred to but have to listen to what my heart
says this time. Sorry, I don’t have a super freak faith like others who are too
much ego about it, and so I listened to reasonable advices from logical people.
There is no harm in being alert or being safe anyway. Let these super holy
people ridicule my weak faith for as long as they want to. I don’t mind.
My
joy is overwhelming for those who are fearless to exercise their rights to
votes. Meanwhile, I pray for peaceful and non-violent election to happen
whether both oppositions win or loose.
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