Mystery Talks

Two in a row over a span of just an hour revealed two messages today – both were unfolded ambiguously – thoughts expressed with sensitivity and that require contextual awareness – now still mystery talks.

Not in my loud personality for I speak out my mind more often than not. And so I’m no mysterious man – what you see is what you get – an open book who isn’t hesitant to show the real me. Needless to say, keeping secrets in the name of privacy is a non-negotiable alternative.

I won’t blame anyone for not being able to grasp my intention vis-à-vis the posts earlier, but I appreciated your “like” signs and comments. One day when I’m ready enough, then you’ll be the next ones to know. For now, let me leave it as is – an odd curiosity.

“Thank God for the abundance of coffee at school, it makes every worker really happy.”

I wrote on my Facebook timeline today because I could no longer contain the feeling of isolation and the thought of being forgotten, left out. Maybe in one message a way, one sincere person would come to inquire at least.

This is when I felt the deafening silence of God’s voice – when answers to prayers seem slow; not a single mark to trace. All I had to do is to wait and pray in hopes of things I’m still clinging to.

But then it’s in this mystery talks I’ve understand the importance of swallowing my pride and set aside this messianic complex I presumed didn’t have.

Yes, it’s in this vague story I’ve decided to open up a bit as I prayed for the right people to listen.

And it is in this bizarreness I realized to give room for other people to know instead of keeping it myself.

“Five days in a row – breaking someone’s record – not a legacy the next generation wants know.”

My second note – as a status on Facebook – another mysterious thought in follow up of what I have been feeling and thinking since last week. Sure enough, only two people got this message as clear as mud. I just felt to unleash this uncontrollable feeling of uneasiness within me through this social network.

The world has been unfriendly to me lately including destiny and those people I imagine friends. Maybe one more message a way they would come to me sincerely and pay attention to my silent cries. But these silent cries turned mystery talks – it would take genuine person to comprehend – or I’ll leave it forever like this – the greatest taboo of my life.   

And so I have a note to my dear family:

“Don’t worry about me, I’m still OK. This is not related to the latest incident. I apologize if I will deprive you this time from knowing the story. Rest assured that this is not concerning serious illnesses as well – it’s just a solvable silent cry. Just pray for me in this time of discouragement, pain, and loneliness. I count it as trials while following the Master. Let’s think of it as part of my calling to serve other people. If I couldn’t endure it anymore, I will always run to you. For now, let it be mystery talks.”

To those who lent ears to listen…a countless thanks to you.