A Hurtful Taboo

We used to talk about this precious little gift around the table – an obvious apple of somebody’s eye – the first grandchild of both uttering ethnicities beget by intermarriage – now an avoided subject.

I’ve seen a similar situation in the past and for several times it gave me ideas about the imperfection of every nuclear or extended family. But nothing’s more painful than being deprived of a joy; that once a true joy. And so I’ll just clam up not to make this evaded talk a broken taboo.

“I miss the little angel so much!” I told an uncle to start a conversation.

Silence.

“Are you planning to see your little angel this year?” I asked Uncle.

“No!”

I could sense the dryness of the night amidst pouring rain; a black mood which left a bizarre discussion. Blame it on my wrong timing if I failed to get a tête-à-tête or a heart-to-heart chat that late night; not that night.

I get the same feeling once in a while, too, and so I understand. That’s what I thought, but the seemingly barking up the wrong tree was actually an unintentional insensitivity. I swear didn’t know. The truth is, I actually have forgotten that awkward interaction the next day –disregarded as in.

“Please never mention our precious jewel to him again. Thanks for understanding.” Auntie reminded me while we were having breakfast.

“I’m really sorry because I didn’t know.” I said.

Then she wept. And it almost killed me.

I know it’s just part of life – only for a while – soon everything’s gonna be alright. For now, let them go through all these heartaches. Mine now is to pray for healing because it’s not my responsibility to mend the broken hearts.

Just hope they will learn to patch the holes up to experience restoration in the process. And may this hurtful taboo will soon become a bunch of joy like it was in the old days.

To the best of my knowledge, I’m so aware of the complexity raising a family, but also aware that whatever pain we have is normal – lessons vary and endless. I am a sentient person and so I know how it feels – the experience of a hurtful taboo especially.