Love-hate Kind of Thing

Working and staying with volunteers from all over the world through the years, I’d say, is both a joy and a discomfort. More often than not, I just had to remind myself that I don’t need to like everyone or vice versa. People are different after all–it is nothing but the truth. This might be the weirdest statement you’d hear from me, but I will say it anyway. The way I perceive life is that, there is always a mixture of love-hate relationship for someone or something. When that happens, one must just accept the way it is. Nobody can control the feeling of others or them to control mine–it is fair enough. So I don’t like them and I am sticking to this impression. For whatever observation or reason I have against them, I’ll keep it to myself. But it doesn’t change a fact–for now.

Before a batch or a few bunch of volunteers come, I always feel two particular things which are excitement and apprehension. Of course, I am actually always excited to work with and meet people of different cultures who share a common thing–a social action–helping the poor. But it makes me anxious at the same time not knowing what to take place and how to handle them in worst scenario. Like the group we just had which I had to endure for a while and also the team we are having at the moment. “Can’t we not just work together despite differences?” I protested in silence. Their indifference and frightful snob to Asian (like me) is killing me. Well, they work for a very prominent company and live in a place considered first world. I’m just nobody. That makes sense. Three more nights, then I’ll be fine. Happy to say, I am not staying or working with these kind of humans for ages. Let them find their kinds while I isolate with my own kinds as well.

P.S. Not all volunteers who came and I worked and stayed with are alike. I had fond memories with the majority of the volunteers as a matter of fact–but not these past two groups of elite ones.