My 42nd Great Year!

It is already 10:40 in the morning on this 29^th day of August right where I am staying. Actually, it is my coffee break but I am abstaining from it just for this time so that I can write one more entry. Two days from now, I will be ticking my monthly goals and to to-do lists to see how far I’ve gone and how much I’ve done things this year—the craziest calendar ever. This eighth month in particular is also fully packed with this-and-that goings-on like the rest of the months before it–when traveling and loads of work seemed endless. Now let me grab this rare moment to plug in my personal drama before these remaining eventful months will take away my mood. I have been intending to do it the past days, but you see, I have no memory like of an elephant. It is better late than never, anyway.

    

Just turned forty-two the last twenty-first of August. As always, there was no big celebration to anticipate, but it didn’t make me less thankful in life. What I had was a very simple diner with a few of my friends. They graced my special day with delicious meals and it made me so happy. We went out to our favorite coffee shop down town for a get-together after—that was all I needed I think. Of course, my social media account was swarmed with birthday greetings from family and friends. It made me happier even. Their kind words remind me how blessed I am still despite my lacking and my lonesomeness away from home. It was a 42^nd great year, and a Happy Birthday still! 

Wrong Clothing

“Aren’t you lonely out there?” my family and friends would ask me every so often, and with one intention, to know whether I’m still getting by or giving up my daily fights. “I am Ok. Thanks!” I’d normally say, and yet behind this plain answer is another story that will surprise humankinds perhaps–but not my circle of friends where I am nowadays. We know it and even tolerant about it for as long as we can hold. There is one thing that stings our hearts above all this loneliness–it is the undeniable greediness of people we both try to work and network with–they are animals in human forms.

Every person struggles with sadness, but there is always a simple if not a creative solution to this–at least the way I perceive it. Dealing with people who wear wrong clothing is out-and-out a great challenge. I have to stand my ground like a soldier from their intimidation and be adamant towards their tactics. Unfortunately, they have their own unstoppable ways and do things behind our backs–that’s how they win their evil plans. Aside from designing programs and curricula for schools and organizations, I am also a frontline worker. I teach students and train teachers to implement the designed program or specific curricula while the crocodiles take photos and raised money from our endeavors. They are sleeping on the money they took from donors now perhaps. Enjoying life to the fullest, relaxed as if they never hurt the people who busted their butts. What do you expect? That’s how life evolves in the world these days—full of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Beware!

Sundry Reasons

Sometimes I let my mood gets me and just forget about writing. In most cases, I had to go against it in the name of goals. But this time, my absence from blogging meant a few things–sundry reasons. I didn’t have a computer to take advantage of for a while. That is one. If my memory serves me correctly, the last time I posted my entry was twenty days ago. And so, I am trying my hardest to get my feet back on the ground before this laziness pushes me over the edge. Secondly, I was so busy for work. Even these past two days, I had to create three sets of presentation through a PowerPoint for my workshop next week.

Next reason in line was, I had to travel both out of the country and away from this village to take care of my guests–a simple favor and a gesture of love to tour them around places they are not familiar with. They have never been out of their comfort zones. It was glad to help knowing they are safe and also it was a real joy to show them around countries and cities I trod for countless times. My health was also an issue for not keeping the momentum. Well, let the weather take the blame. Now, I got no reason left to justify but keep doing what I have started instead–write or blog if you prefer.

   

Love-hate Kind of Thing

Working and staying with volunteers from all over the world through the years, I’d say, is both a joy and a discomfort. More often than not, I just had to remind myself that I don’t need to like everyone or vice versa. People are different after all–it is nothing but the truth. This might be the weirdest statement you’d hear from me, but I will say it anyway. The way I perceive life is that, there is always a mixture of love-hate relationship for someone or something. When that happens, one must just accept the way it is. Nobody can control the feeling of others or them to control mine–it is fair enough. So I don’t like them and I am sticking to this impression. For whatever observation or reason I have against them, I’ll keep it to myself. But it doesn’t change a fact–for now.

Before a batch or a few bunch of volunteers come, I always feel two particular things which are excitement and apprehension. Of course, I am actually always excited to work with and meet people of different cultures who share a common thing–a social action–helping the poor. But it makes me anxious at the same time not knowing what to take place and how to handle them in worst scenario. Like the group we just had which I had to endure for a while and also the team we are having at the moment. “Can’t we not just work together despite differences?” I protested in silence. Their indifference and frightful snob to Asian (like me) is killing me. Well, they work for a very prominent company and live in a place considered first world. I’m just nobody. That makes sense. Three more nights, then I’ll be fine. Happy to say, I am not staying or working with these kind of humans for ages. Let them find their kinds while I isolate with my own kinds as well.

P.S. Not all volunteers who came and I worked and stayed with are alike. I had fond memories with the majority of the volunteers as a matter of fact–but not these past two groups of elite ones.

Unique Friendship

Our friendship is over four years old. It started as a standoffish student-teacher acquaintance when I taught an advanced ESL class where he was one of the learners. He is an introvert type of a person while I the other extreme. The world we live in dictates a few cultural boundaries but it didn’t matter in the end. I couldn’t befriended him because he was my student and I was like too way older (twenty-two years worlds apart). And so this is the rarest picture of a flourishing friendship you would probably see–at least where we are as regards this sort of thing. Last night, we had a long talk over the phone. It was not a peculiar one, but it was the first in a month. We chat a lot until these days. We could talk forever despite our personality and age differences–but not our opinions. There were times when I thought that he really thinks matured than I am.

I still find ways to keep in touch with my learners in the past for as long as they are within reach, but this guy is the only one who is very consistent corresponding back. Through social media such as Facebook and messenger, through sms and phone calls, and through various meetups, we have been keeping this bond all these years. Where I come from, we call it a gift from above. And I am grateful eternally for this greatest treasure that I received. “I can be your father since we can’t be friends.” I told him years ago. He just laughed because he knew what that means. From a student, then he became like a son of mine. And as the years rolled by, he became my confidant–now he is my best friend in the entire world.   

Welcome August

As soon as the month of August came a few days ago, I wrote something in double-quick time on my blog out of my elation. “Finally, the waiting is over.” It read. If you happened to visit this spot lately, you’ve seen what this temporary status had said. And I have kept it until this morning, and will change this a few more minutes before I am going to post my full write-up about this anticipation very soon. Why not? August is always my favorite month of the year no matter what this thirty-one day calendar month has for me–any way you slice it.

When I started my own countdown this year, I was both eager and anxious without knowing how long and how far I am going to make it without financial support back home to materialize these projects. Now, there is a new joy–the agonizing months were over. I am in my third undertaking–enduring still. So thankful to have reached this point of time of the year. Except my Creator, no one really understands my feeling of loneliness, my solo flight, and my struggles to keep these endeavors fulfilled. Life is never a no muss, no fuss scenario. There are always unbearable challenges to take. Now you know why I am making such a big row. Of course, God’s grace, strength, and provision has helped me make it through. I’m undeniably grateful for this! Welcome August!