Not Flying Home Again

My life is not a typical one compared to others where I am from–very family-oriented individuals. I envy how they are so attached to their families while I’m so detached for a longer time. I am used to it perhaps (got used to it actually), but for every excuse there was for sure logical and acceptable. I had to leave home and live faraway.

  

The calling I chose is the greatest factor. And as a volunteer worker or a cross-cultural educator, I had to move into different places. I will be moving out to a new city again soon. Honestly, the dwelling I’m at presently is not the only territory I’ve worked and lived all these years, but one of the many in fact. Then blame it to my new job if my desire to fly home has gone pear-shaped.

The number of years I am away and an end to end distance that bars me apart feels like have so many things to catch up and patch up. And so it always excites me to go home and journey with angels I left behind for a long, long while. Yet plans have been filed up undone which isolate me all the more.

Now it’s another important trip to set aside because I am caught without a choice. 

It’s another opportunity to miss because it’s always a joy to see my family.

And it’s another chance to waste because you’ll never know when it’ll come again. 

These are just some of the dilemmas, but I have other reasons in my mind. And no matter how exciting the trip is, it’s disappointing because I don’t feel welcomed. My reason for flying this time is to meet family I haven’t visited in ages, but they aren’t that eager to have me. I hope it’s just a feeling. That’s one.

    

It’s easy to write some wonderful bucket lists, but things don’t always work smooth as expected. I’m no well-off person or born with an ATM card, and so every cent spent was all thought out. It means just couldn’t fly home anytime I wanted to. And I never go home empty handed–because it’s a culture. That’s another one to care.

Going home isn’t just as easy as eating peanuts–it stresses me out, but home is where you belong. That’s why I am also saddened not making it this time as planned–there is always next time of course.

Well, I can talk the whole day about hurdles including snags, but the rest I will keep it to myself–I have said enough for now.

Spontaneous Blessings

Just got back less than an hour ago from a spur-of-the-moment excursion somewhere I’ve never been before. I wasn’t part of the original plan, but something came up so I volunteered to accompany my friends. I only had few hours to prepare–one of the few spontaneous decisions I made in years.  

I didn’t know what to expect except for the worst scenario. I was right because it was not a comfortable travel at all, but my prediction was also wrong because the rest of the trip was an epic.

We had to squeeze in a small car for two hours, and then crossed the Mekong River by barge for fifteen minutes, and after that went through rough roads (a crater after crater) by motorbikes for one and a half hour under the scorching heat of the sun to get to the village. Forget about the stormy dust, it was already expected. 

Coming back was the same story. 

So it was actually worth the go. And the sacrifice we made paid off–where endless treat and treat and treat surprised us graciously. I would like to name them one by one. 

For the wonderful couple with the hearts of gold and whose kindness are truly overwhelming. We were blown away. They hosted us with a warm welcome and with delicious meals to enjoy. They also paid all the expenses for the trip. We’re very blessed! 

For the unexpected haven so beautiful and cool. Oh, but the perfect place to rest in times of weariness. More than all this nostalgia, my spirit was lifted and my strength was renewed. I feel refreshed. We’re so privileged!      

For the nuggets of wisdom I received. When I thought had already learned a lot in the fields for my years and years of experience, I’ve been flying my own kite then for this wrong assumption–there are so many things I haven’t known yet. And our hosts weren’t reluctant to impart those lessons to us. We’re so grateful! 

For this epic expedition recently–an experience I wouldn’t have had if not for this amazing couple–whose life and selfless endeavors are encouraging and inspiring. They are examples of what servants and leaders are like. We’re so encouraged! 

Glad I came with my friends despite the uncertainty of what was to come. When you don’t expect anything, that’s when good things come in.