Small Me, Big Me

No, my head isn’t literally big, but it does at times – that’s when pride or arrogance or ego is at work. People can see that with the way I speak or act. And if this overweening “me” is humble enough to admit such attitude, then nothing is so obscure to notice a conceit.

I’m a small person but not a dwarf, and yet this small “me” can defeat a giant and can win the greatest challenge the world has known – only in a blustery way – an illusion which always happens in the figurative sense – now this big “ME” is on the throne.

That’s how boastfulness demands – to be full of ourselves like those self-confident swaggers. So I must be careful with this character for it always leads to human’s downfall. I was taught to leave room for people to show approval first. I bet it’s so awkward to praise my own self in the presence of many around the table.    

Praise is one-sided if I had to ask my opinion about it. It’s so easy to give other individuals tons of commendations but not to ourselves or else we will be accused haughty and unbearably smug.

“Small me, Big me” is not actually an idiom or a saying which evolves for centuries, but it’s my own slogan to remind me personally of egotism. And that even a small person can become an egomania.

This is the negative side of the slogan itself. 

Got no enlarged heart or cardiomegaly in scientific term, but it gets bigger at times – that’s when compassion or mercy or love is totally at work. And if this unfinished “me” is willing enough to serve, then my Master can possibly do His business in my life.

I may be old, but it doesn’t mean I’ve grown to perfection, powerful – I’m still in progress, and my Creator is still working on me. This small “me” may have a lot of huge plans in the future, but it takes God’s grace to become big “ME” to fulfill all those dreams.

That’s what dependence to the Father requires – a total surrender knowing we can’t do anything apart from Him who enables us to perform great things – from small “me” to big “ME” – driven by the Master’s loving hand.

“Small me, Big me” again is not an existing milieu provided for someone to live or act specifically, but it’s a slogan derived from the Holy Scriptures in examples of heroes of faith I admire. This then will remind me of my deep need for God’s strength. With this, I may fully understand that I am nothing without Him.  

This is the positive angle of the slogan itself.

The borderline between pride and proud is so thin that one must be very careful to examine an intention. But then, as long as you know your stand before the Father – it’s another story to contest – that’s when a slogan “Small Me, Big Me” needs a thorough examination – whether a pride in itself or a confidence in God.