My Shoes

"Now you know what it is like being a volunteer." I told a sixteen-year-old teen on our way to the border. It was one uncomfortable afternoon when prayer has never been that fervent. My miscalculation had something to do with it - few hours to my visa's expiration date - a huge hassle every so often.

Then I had to hit the road having only one angel around - this young boy because our big boys had already gone to the University at that time. And who wouldn't feel guilty and anxious to death? Thank God, he can drive quite a distance; a very solid and defensive driver, too.

Not my intention to put him in my shoes, maybe destiny allowed - to speak on my behalf the many silent cries I have - and from this unveiling, who knows, comes an unforgettable memory to reminisce - that's up to him still, but I will.

If only there were options, I won't turn to him for such a dangerous favor. But life isn't always the way we think would happen - it is full of circumstances beyond our control. As much as I wanted to reject the idea, the situation was just too demanding to resist some help - caught in the middle of urgency. Wish I could stop the spin of time.

"This is my life, son." I said. He deserves to know after all. And so had to bring in the open everything he should know - my culture shock, my odyssey, my loneliness and fear, my worries and anxieties, my sacrifices and challenges - all these with hope that he'd be able to grasp each story fully - my shoes.

Of course, part of unraveling were happy stories - my joy in serving, meeting great people, winning amazing friends, the opportunity to travel, the honor to be a volunteer, the privilege to live in different cultures, an immersion to opposite life-styles, and a lot more - all these, along with silent prayer, he too would remember someday the shoes I was wearing.

Again, it wasn't my ulterior motive to put this boy in my place, but thanks to this first and last chance to reveal my life before him this way.       

"Study harder, and never take for granted the effort of volunteers." I preached my last words. This was to appreciate the rest of selfless educators/volunteers for their sacrifices and kindness giving underprivileged kids a good education.  

My shoes are my shoes and it's up to someone to put himself in.