BACK IN THE HABIT

The fact is, no matter how prominent or elite or famous a person in his/her own world, and then begins to learn other languages, he or she is always classified as beginner. At least, that’s what I have understood in language learning – where age is not the issue or a threat.

And so I am a beginner - but no prominent or famous or considered elite.

In other words, this guy is just a language learner who’s back in the habit – an old habit which I had set aside for so long – and now pulling me back, tangled, enticed.

If you have followed my old posts, then you’d know those languages I’ve spent time burning eyebrows. But I wasn’t challenged as crazy as learning “Khmer” or Cambodian’s mother tongue. The alphabet for instance, it gives me a hard nut – really a tough one to learn.

When I first worked in the country nine years back, my busyness didn’t give me opportunity to learn the language formally. So I learned a survival way using a phrase book I bought in the market. It helped a bit.

When I left the country, I had ventured another language (Vietnamese) without necessarily forgotten my Khmer because had crossed through these borders a lot. So I still had means of practicing my Khmer.

Surprisingly, I went back to Cambodia to work till this day. Now, I have been learning Khmer for three years – on and off.

This is my fourth attempt actually on learning how to read – like a beginner struggling to recognize each character or like an old man in Alzheimer’s disease. But I’m glad back in the habit.

My first attempt was three years ago – spent three months just for the alphabet – those times just learning the characters by heart night and day. Then I started recognizing letters and then words and then phrase. I wish I didn’t stop, but I did. And when I came back in the habit, I could not recognize any letters…as in back to zero.

The second attempt I‘d say the same scenario when I thought no more history-repeats-itself- case, but it did unfortunately. When I browsed the same book, I was already halfway to the reality yet was very surprised for such total blackout.

Again, I could not recognize almost every letter except for few ones – the R, the K, the Zero, and the E. I could not believe it myself.

That’s when I stopped trying for more than two years.

That’s when I decided to focus in speaking.

That’s when I changed my learning habit – to learn two words a day despite not able to read it, but it was quite challenging. And when I learned words, I had to ask someone to spell them for me to get the correct pronunciation. So I was able to learn by mimicking the sound or simply recognizing the letter’s equivalence.

But not now…I’m back in the habit. Had enough for two long years without motivation already. Trust me, it’s no easy, but I’m ready to face what it takes – the headache and confusion, the laziness and procrastination – have to fight it.

It’s been few weeks now burning eyebrows in the name of learning Khmer.  The fourth time feeling fulfilled as a learner aside from being able to read again. So glad I did. Now, I am simply back in the habit.