BROKEN WINGS

I’m still recovering from my own hurricane lately–physically worn out, mentally drained, spiritually dry, and emotionally down–whose wings are very broken if compared to a flying creature.

For one long month, my joy has been snatched from me by the trials of life which left me unhappy, dispirited, daunted, and indolent–now I’m struggling to get to my feet and move on–hopefully I’ll be fine soon.  

So bushed at the moment and it is like there’s no strength left–but not defeated–of course–just broken wings.

People knew I was normal because I painted on a smile every time and yet deep inside my heart was a battle that never seen–only my kids and friends are aware. I wasn’t trying to put on a mask or pretend, but few I’ve told about my struggles. I didn’t have to tell the whole world.  

If I had to use another word besides worn out is this strangest one I’ve read–“kaput”–which means ruined; done for; demolished–that’s how I exactly felt about my circumstance. I was like a walking dead.

My experience recently was just part of living in this crazy world regardless of the impact it caused me–whether or not it will happen again. There I have seen real angels who walked with me and succor me in this difficulty. 

No, this is not the first time! I had devastation in the past, too. I am so out of track. The good thing I stood up and fought those battles. I don’t want to say I was strong because like this one–I also struggled; weary.  

I still exist (not hoping to die soon though), and this is what I understand a purpose. I still have a portion of duty to fulfill perhaps. So I am going to avail myself for another chance to serve and live life until my Creator will take it back.   

Still in severe pain, and I don’t want to deny this stage–it will take time to heal. 

Again my wings are just broken and I am still able to flap them slowly, little by little until they are cured. Then I am able to fly normally and journey with angels I haven’t seen or met yet.

Behind This Trip

While many are born leaders–who don’t mind the meticulousness and fragility of a particular task great or small; others are born the opposite–who want to remain nameless instead in spite of successes–but not in my blog–not this time.   

I call these individuals my backbones–for without them I’m also nothing. As I put life to the plan, they breathe on them and make each detail possibly meaningful.  

The educational trip we had lately wasn’t the first time or the only one I’ve organized my entire life, I had countless prior to this. And I never take the credit myself, but first and foremost belong to all the persons behind this. And I’m so thankful for their overwhelming kindness. 

My kids might not see their (our sponsors) hands working or feel their joy for us, but they understood that they are traveling with us. “They are journeying with us through spirits.” I told the kids.

For some reasons, the city-to-city trip was conceived, but without the help of friends, everything was in vain–so they deserve all the credits and applauds. 

One of our goals was to see historical places they have never been before–relearning them through the four senses. With this, they are brought back to their culture as the modernity of this world is trying hard diverting them from their roots.    

Another reason for this was to experience what is like to travel as tourists and learn from that experience–a taste of an outside world away from home. They talked about it but they never had an idea of the reality out there.

Third was to take a break from their extensive academic life–to learn to balance life. There’s time for everything. And they deserve a break for their hard work.

Part of the goals was also to remind them that there are still kind people out there like these sponsors–to teach them kindness. The world is full of greed people, but also with amazing people. 

Behind this trip are generous people–and behind their generosity comes joy that these kids will never forget for the rest of their lives.

A Cup of Thanks

For as long as I live, my cup runs over with thanksgiving–it doesn’t matter how life’s turbulence tries to pull me down. And whether a bit or a gigantic shade of hope to see–I’m still forever grateful.

My apology for this extreme idleness the past weeks, I haven’t been this lazy. I slog a lot, you know that. I just had so much to take–fully to the brim, but my situation doesn’t make me ungrateful. 

Aside from my own personal issues, I’ve been traveling a lot out of the country; from city to city lately–where angel after angel was already there waiting before me. Now I got stories to write, to tell, and to thank for.

Bangkok is one of the mega cities my instinct is familiar with, but not when unexpected circumstance pops in the way–when wanderings happened at random. There I just had to go with the flow. And at the end of this unwanted detour, I realized that angels had already come to the rescue…

…To show me kindness for not sparing his (a Korean traveler) 15 baht so that I could take another bus to my final destination because I forgot to change some money along the way. 

…A young couple who gave me a ride from the Frisbee field to the city when vans were no longer available at that time. It was a long ride to take without any taxi to hire as well.

…When I didn’t know what to do, confused with the ways commuter should do, locals were helpful enough to assist me so I’d adopt a lifestyle not my own; easily. 

…The police in Bangkok were also accommodating and that’s very admiring. I feel safer and comfortable to go out even in the middle of the night. 

…And a lot more to tell–and a lot more to say thanks, too.  

  

When I prayed for a journey, it happened. But it took to wander and wonder so that I would meet angels of all kinds to make my journey this time worth reminiscing. If one is only aware even with little, simple things, one’s cup runs over always with thanksgiving.