Unwise “I DO!”

A former student came to bring typical news. She informed the teachers about her sister’s engagement ceremony. By the look of things, I predicted an intention – she wanted us to join the celebration.    

I know the culture a bit, and what it takes to show up, so didn’t want to feel like someone bringing a knife to a gunfight. You know, this little thing called money.

Upon my word, didn’t really have some money for this occasion – and so my decision was wavering. But I ended turning up still bringing nothing except for a palabra de honor. 

“I didn’t know your sister is dating!” I told my former student.

She smiled at me without a single comment.

I asked that question because her parents are actually strict freak. Even with her BGR (boy-girl-relationship) to my close friend is an ultimate taboo at home. Now, her younger sibling, who is just sixteen, is soon to say “I do”.

Last weekend, I and my kids were off to another village – to spend a chilly Saturday, and to celebrate a chilly birthday. That was my third time around, and so I am already acquainted with few of our host’s neighbors and relatives.

“Teacher, that girl is my cousin’s wife.” my foster daughter said.

“Huh? But your cousin is just fifteen years old!” I reacted, surprised.

Immediately, his cousin, a young boy, I met four months ago, became the talk around the table. That was a story I wouldn’t like my kids to hear, but they had to. With so many awful things to mention, we all learned that his mom has been cussing him a lot, every single day.

What can a fifteen-year-old-boy do anyway?

He’s just a lazy gangster dependent of a parent, yet has the courage to say “I do”. The worst is, he’s turned his poor home upside down by bringing a pregnant girl same as his age. 

This isn’t new to me in reality. I came from a tribe wherein early marriage, as young as 12-15 years old, is so permissible. But just couldn’t keep myself from wondering about this seemingly unwise decision.

Every family is so vulnerable to this early marriage situation if not aware. My family undeniably isn’t excluded with this trap.  But it was for a culture and necessity. And I don’t think it’s a good excuse then.

Let’s say, things happen unavoidably. Well, I have no objection to that. But I’m just regretful because life could have been better if one is wise enough to think. My sister is also an example to this unwise “I do”. For sure, there are families who are in the same shoes, too.

That’s how marriage is “only” measured through a shallow emotion.   

That’s why there are a lot of “baby mamas” in the world suffering the consequences.

That’s when “I do” is truly misunderstood.

One should tell me to avoid misconception. Because no matter how aware I am with this truth, my mind is in endless snoop – nosily thinking about those youngsters to say “I Do!” so easily when life is so difficult to bear.

Youngsters, it would be better if you think a million times first before saying an unwise “I do!” After all, a marriage life is not a fairy tale. You need to work things out with toughness.

Don’t be deceived by this unwise “I do!”  Wait for the right time, and then you’ll have a beautiful marriage amidst challenges.