JUST WEARING SOMEONE SHOES

It has been a year since my first village excursion – now an endless exploration. As endless as it is, and so seeing many wonderful things before me both ordinaries and exotics. And yet amidst all these beautiful surfaces, there’s a gloom hovering all over.

I can hear sadness in laughter.

I can feel the groaning of a discontented heart.

I can see an anxious face in a happy smile.

Reasons and situations are too many to mention. Without a doubt, I can identify for I’ve been there myself dialoguing, interacting, and immersing. So this is no speculation - I am not good guesser after all.

It’s just so wondering that every time I visited a village, I always felt the same thing – a deep sadness in daylight. I always tell my kids dying if I stay in villages for a longer time. It’s not because of an extreme silence, but life is just so dull. I call it a place of no opportunity.

My feeling is right, the kids are feeling the same way too.

Am I having transference here or just wearing someone shoes?

When kids told me every aspiration they cling, all I had to do was to listen attentively, and then affirm. It’s so amazing to hear their stories. But then I had to remind them that life is not a fairy tale. They have to earn every success.

That is why they needed encouragement in times like these. Then soon they will learn to laugh a genuine laughter without sadness bugging. But then I had to put my self in somebody’s shoes to be able to hear that sadness behind laughter.

It isn’t a mortal sin being discontented. Each one deserves a satisfied life for whatever good reason. No one would like to stay in the farm all his life if there is a great choice. I left this lifestyle behind –but I do respect this vocation on the one hand. So don’t get me wrong.

When kids are back to their villages every weekend, I can see how hard working they are. They toil, and toil, and toil. They do all those heavy farm chores. But I can feel something - it is a groaning of a discontented heart.

I believe because I’d been there more than just wearing their shoes.

I know because I have their hearts in this seemingly desperation.

But what can they do? They live in a less privileged world. Yes - but we can do something!

And when they are back at the center, the kids are very happy living a new lifestyle. At least in here they got BIG window to look at the future clearly. But then I had to wear someone shoes to hear the groaning of a discontented heart.

Every moment at the center is a happy moment. But when these kids start thinking about their future outside this training ground, so many paranoia and anxiousness. Dropouts I would say are difficult to cater. The maximum advice we can give is to go back school. But then it takes a lot of money to do so since education here is very expensive. This is when my life is put to challenges as well.

How can I possibly send all these less privilege back to school? I don’t know! But I have encouragements for the moment. I have a lot of free services to offer although not sure when all these going to last.

For now, I have to put my self to somebody’s position so I can understand them deeply. If I don’t, then it is impossible to see an anxious face in a happy smile.

I’m very grateful working for this N.G.O. which gives kids in villages many opportunities to explore outside their world –to learn MORE, to think BRIGHT, to dream BIG, and to take a STEP for their own future. If not for this program, I wonder if things would ever be the same again.

I’m sure not!

Am I really having transference?

No! I am just wearing someone shoes.