DILEMMA IN DISGUISE

Traveling for me is a dilemma sometimes. One of the worst scenarios was yesterday. I had to leave Cambodia and come here to Saigon – downcast, tired, and unhappy. Caught unprepared yet I had to go and hit the last bus.

Downcast because things didn’t happen as expected. A day’s extension to work things out would not help anyway. So here I am- in a must situation.

Tired from spearheading a three-month Summer Program ended just a week ago. It was a first-time-experience especially designing and implementing 18 course books – unnoticeably tough. I was surprised myself.

Unhappy about visa and passport issues – it has been a hassle for a while. So stressful!

Consumed by these seemingly awful situations affected my joy hitting the road. I usually love sitting inside the bus unwinding, and beholding scenery along the way. Regardless how long the trip is -but not this time!

And when a day looked like a bad one, that’s then things came in the open. It was just a peek-out-the-window a way. And that noticing moment was another lesson that pacified my murmurings.

I was complaining desperately about my situation. But when I finally noticed how devastating flood devoured every rice field and every home, I felt so ashamed. My situation was nothing compared to that. It was not worth complaining to be honest.






And when a day turned out like a hard, long one (seemed unbearable), that’s then a warm embrace of friends have been waiting there at the end of the day.

Traveling to a country not my own is truly lonely especially having no friends to hang around. But if you got friends to share your journey and life, it’s a different story. I’m so blessed having true friends everywhere around the world. Thank God for the many amazing people around me.

And when a day seemed disappointing and joyless, that’s then miracle was on its way. It is just a matter of believing.

As I said, visa and passport issues have been my stressors. Not if you have a year multiple entry. So you don’t need to worry about this stuff. But cases aren’t always the same for me. Since I started working for this NGO, I have been going in out of the country for visa purposes. This important need has been unattended because of the lack of fund.

And it is very, very, very stressful.

But that is not the only thing, every page in the passport matters. And when you ran out of pages, you have to buy them expensively. The worst thing to expect is the carelessness and scruffiness of immigration officer stamping the passport’s pages. And now I got three blank pages left and still far from expiration.

Guess what?

When I got to the border yesterday a quick change system happened. There was no more stamping! All they had to do was scan my passport and my finger prints. That was it!

From now on onwards, I don’t have to worry about buying pages or this messy stamp everywhere. Thanks to this electronic existence.

What can I say – a blessing in disguise?

No, it was not!

They are true blessings from above.

But it was a dilemma in disguise!

UNO IN DIVERSE CONTEXTS

What will happen around the table having diverse ethnicities playing UNO? For now, that’s the question I’d like us to wonder about.

I just got back from a flooded-village-day away one drizzly afternoon. And before I had my tired body settled on a bench, one of the teachers informed “The Japanese students are coming to play uno with us.” I wasn’t that thrilled at first, so just ended up commenting “Let’s play, then!”

As we waited for their coming, suddenly my mind was preoccupied with few wonderings. None of us (as hosts) was quite sure how the game is going to be – an interesting one or unanticipated one.

It was not my first time playing uno with other heritages – well, with native speakers of English. And so we had common ground at least – one language, one rule, one game in the name of English.

But this time it was very different. Players were totally from three opposite sides of Asia – Khmers, Japanese and a Filipino. Since I am the oldest myself, I stood as an initiator bringing on the table the rules we have back home. Unfortunately there was no common rule except for one thing… a common laughter because of diversity in contexts.

I follow the western context based on the manual’s procedures and rules. And of course, plus the self-invented rules I inherited from Filipino friends I played for many years – the high 5 and the stealing things.

My Khmer kids could have had their own rules as well if they first played uno among their set of friends. Sad to say they learned the game from me. So they are accustomed to the same rules I follow. But at least they know how to change some rules and make them more relevant to their own context – no need to mention a few.

The Japanese rules on the other hand are totally different but not for the accustomed. If one had to translate their rules into black and white, I don’t think I could find one similarity - except that a color is a color and number is a number.

All in all is very diverse: a player cannot throw a card outside a file; one has to win the rock-scissors-paper thing to start the game; anybody can throw the same number cards at one time like all 2s regardless of colors; that every card counts, if one throws 4 skips or reverses then it has to be skipped or reversed four times too; if one throws a +4 the next person can throw +2 to add amounts of a punishment; and a lot more. But not a single rule is transcribed in my own list of rules.

Yet we managed to play the game happily by adjusting and being opened to other rules unaccustomed. We started with negotiation by playing someone’s known rules. And then we continued playing observing another’s known rules. And when we got bored a bit, we mixed all the rules although confusing and challenging at times.

In short, we had a tremendous fun!

We ended up laughing at our diversities instead of criticizing them. It was just a respect a way, in fact. Then we had an honest-to-goodness game by miles at the end of the day.

The bargaining (about whose rules we must follow first) turned in a wonderful experience for all of us. We didn’t need to argue to put our own rules into domination. We can bargain as we tried to do in shopping. Try it! It’s possible.

In span of short time, we got to know each heart and mind more than just playing – thanks to uno.

And also we ended up learning new things. I like the dealing part where a dealer serves the players with special treatments - it taught me servanthood attitude.

Above all, we played happily with bright smiles on our faces – an unforgettable moment to cherish.

Going back to the question above, I think I’ve said it all. But what’s yours?

Enjoy playing uno!

JUST WEARING SOMEONE SHOES

It has been a year since my first village excursion – now an endless exploration. As endless as it is, and so seeing many wonderful things before me both ordinaries and exotics. And yet amidst all these beautiful surfaces, there’s a gloom hovering all over.

I can hear sadness in laughter.

I can feel the groaning of a discontented heart.

I can see an anxious face in a happy smile.

Reasons and situations are too many to mention. Without a doubt, I can identify for I’ve been there myself dialoguing, interacting, and immersing. So this is no speculation - I am not good guesser after all.

It’s just so wondering that every time I visited a village, I always felt the same thing – a deep sadness in daylight. I always tell my kids dying if I stay in villages for a longer time. It’s not because of an extreme silence, but life is just so dull. I call it a place of no opportunity.

My feeling is right, the kids are feeling the same way too.

Am I having transference here or just wearing someone shoes?

When kids told me every aspiration they cling, all I had to do was to listen attentively, and then affirm. It’s so amazing to hear their stories. But then I had to remind them that life is not a fairy tale. They have to earn every success.

That is why they needed encouragement in times like these. Then soon they will learn to laugh a genuine laughter without sadness bugging. But then I had to put my self in somebody’s shoes to be able to hear that sadness behind laughter.

It isn’t a mortal sin being discontented. Each one deserves a satisfied life for whatever good reason. No one would like to stay in the farm all his life if there is a great choice. I left this lifestyle behind –but I do respect this vocation on the one hand. So don’t get me wrong.

When kids are back to their villages every weekend, I can see how hard working they are. They toil, and toil, and toil. They do all those heavy farm chores. But I can feel something - it is a groaning of a discontented heart.

I believe because I’d been there more than just wearing their shoes.

I know because I have their hearts in this seemingly desperation.

But what can they do? They live in a less privileged world. Yes - but we can do something!

And when they are back at the center, the kids are very happy living a new lifestyle. At least in here they got BIG window to look at the future clearly. But then I had to wear someone shoes to hear the groaning of a discontented heart.

Every moment at the center is a happy moment. But when these kids start thinking about their future outside this training ground, so many paranoia and anxiousness. Dropouts I would say are difficult to cater. The maximum advice we can give is to go back school. But then it takes a lot of money to do so since education here is very expensive. This is when my life is put to challenges as well.

How can I possibly send all these less privilege back to school? I don’t know! But I have encouragements for the moment. I have a lot of free services to offer although not sure when all these going to last.

For now, I have to put my self to somebody’s position so I can understand them deeply. If I don’t, then it is impossible to see an anxious face in a happy smile.

I’m very grateful working for this N.G.O. which gives kids in villages many opportunities to explore outside their world –to learn MORE, to think BRIGHT, to dream BIG, and to take a STEP for their own future. If not for this program, I wonder if things would ever be the same again.

I’m sure not!

Am I really having transference?

No! I am just wearing someone shoes.

BURNING EYEBROWS FOR ANOTHER LANGUAGE

These are no collection of phrase books - they were bought for a reason. With care, I have been keeping them with me for a while since I eyed on languages. Some which I already have learned and some still remain as options next in line.

If you have read my old article about my venture on language learning then you would have known my thoughts by now. And if you haven’t yet, please feel free to browse my previous posting about this – “Thoughts from a Language Learner.”

Now I am on my 10^th language. This is one of my goals in life – to be able to speak or simply learn ten languages before forty. Even my self still finds it hard to believe. Once or thrice I‘ve confessed my disbelief of a hero’s extraordinary gift of a tongue. And now I am swallowing my statement back – it is really possible.

But what’s next to learned has been my question for quite sometime.

A Thai language maybe… “Hmmm, sounds interesting.” But no, not yet!

Although I’ve traveled to Thailand several times; unsparingly have bought the book myself; passionately have learned few survival words - sorry to say the language itself hasn’t captured my heart so far.

How about a Japanese language?

It was one in my top lists actually. And like any other languages I eyed on, I learned more than few important phrases. But not this time – I pass.

Let me guess your smart prediction – a challenging Mandarin???

Now that Chinese language is highly considered as the next language that will dominate the tongues; a wise choice must make if one had to venture another lingua in the name of a competitive businesses– but I still don’t get it. Again, I pass!

Why not learn Korean?

That’s a good idea! But I already have learned it including Vietnamese, Spanish and others.

Now I’ve made a choice -Exactly!

After mellowing down on my Khmer learning (Cambodian language) with various challenges at hand, I am convinced to make another try, a new phase, and a total paradigm shift so to speak.

Now I am back to burning eyebrows – for another French language study.

Wish me luck since I am not getting young any longer.

SEEING TYPICAL THINGS UNTYPICAL

This is when looking at typical things untypical- one’s naked eye doesn’t notice much. It sounds confusing. At times it is! And how can two completely opposites suddenly analogous? Well, in some sense they are for sure.

If I had to redefine each word it would come out like this- typical means things we always take for granted while untypical things we always give special attention. As always!

Impossible it may seem, but this time (just for a day) I’d like to claim that both words are reversible. And it is so possible if one is willing to take another angle of a typical thing.

Take a look at this amazing picture of red gumamelas.

It stood here for a long time leafless and blooming yet nobody cared enough except for bees. It has been blooming for weeks now actually but still none of the kids give a notice. Because it is a typical flower they have at home. No big deal. I fancy wild flowers so I will admit being guilty. More than once or a lot of times I felt the same way too. But now it is a WOW!

Last Wednesday, we sent off the kids back to their respective villages to register for another school year. Thankfully we got five days off as well. That is another typical day to thank about - not when you work somewhere else where holiday is rarely enjoyed.

Staying home was not a brilliant idea so we came up doing something else since no kids to take care around. We headed off to explore another village called Kohondaet by an invitation. That was the next day, and a long day.

When we got there I immediately took my camera out to give interest on the many typical things before me. My kids could hear the endless CLICK of my camera while I could hear their audible laughs seeing me shoot images they thought unimportant.

“Click” as I took photo of a marrow’s yellow flowers. Well, if it’s not your shade why bother anyway. I fancy blue but this is it not about color in the first place. It is about appreciating every living thing that creep the ground. If one gives only a usual glimpse then marrow flower will always be a typical plant. But if one tries to give more seeing it beyond comprehension…that’s when marrow aside from vegetables and a loofah turns a beautiful obra maestro to praise the Creator– now untypical. Thank God for this lovely, yellow flower!

“Click!” Another beautiful creation was captured by a sophisticated invention. Now it’s another untypical thing to consider. “Teacher, it’s just a rose!” One kid shouted. “I know” was my silent reply.

It’s true! It is just a rose if one thinks of it only an ordinary rose grown in every home. And again it’s just a rose if one looks at it only from a distance. But when one realizes how this lovely creation is not excluded in every occasion of our lives, and has become a powerful instrument soothing and touching the hearts of many - it’s not just a rose then. And like any other untypical things, it deserves a notice.

“Click!”

“And why chili, teacher?” asked a curious kid. “Nothing!” I said. It was time for lunch so I didn’t entertain such question. Suddenly, one of the kids picked a chili and bit it little by little – obviously to spice up her appetite.

Sometimes or many times (in a conclusive way) it is easy for us to take advantage of every little thing unnoticed. Yet, it is so difficult for us to appreciate every little thing we have – it is so typical of us.

“And why chili, teacher?” The same question can be asked again and again if one will only look at it as a typical spice and not an item to thank for at least. I am not saying you must eat chili to be appreciative or to appreciate chili itself.

Look around you and you will see many little things that you also consider typical (but very useful at times)-taken unnoticed. I will leave it to you to find out. For now, I’d say thanks to chili!

“Ha-ha-ha-ha” the provoking laughs got louder and louder as I took photos of a chicken’s nest with few eggs in. I was not offended but I told my kids I need the photos for my article. Sooner or later, they will read this message themselves. Then we all are reminded that if not for kind chickens to lay eggs there will be no sunny-side-up or omelet or boiled egg or scrambled egg or grilled egg or simply fry egg to enjoy- not to mention those food cannot be cooked or baked without eggs in it.

Here is another click- a Khmer noodle.

This was served to us for lunch –untypical for the insiders to enjoy. Only on special occasions you would come to enjoy such cuisine but this time served as an ordinary lunch. And we all noticed that. But what if ordinary food was served to us? I wonder if they would exert the same attention. I may sound conclusive but I still say… NO, THEY WOULD NOT!

I am speaking for my self. Many times I tend to be less thankful not noticing every little help friends offered – remembering only those extra-miles (BIG) helps I had from friends. And those who had given their littlest yet with sincerity and love were overshadowed by the ungratefulness of mine.

Thanks to generous and grateful people for their characters. They are constant reminders infecting my life to become less grumbling- I am still learning.

“Click. Click,” my last two clicks!

If I had another father with me in his camera, I would assume he’d click the picture above. For one reason is to keep a lasting memory with his kids – that’s so sweet of him. The picture below is impossible to find in his list of photo shots. For one reason, it took me look around curiously to see typical thing unnoticed. And this is what I got.

As these canoes tossed here and then by strong wind, sunk, I can’t help but put in mind the typical life of a fisherman. For the many fish one fisherman had caught, which I had eaten, I now say thank you for this kind of profession.

In a perspective of a person who knows the danger and risk being a fisherman, at the end of the day you would hear him say- I DO NOT WANT TO BE A FISHERMAN! Fortunately there are still a lot of fishermen everywhere so humans can still enjoy fish of all kinds.

This is what I have in mind seeing typical things untypical. After all even typical things are worthy of notice – they are indeed!

Like this one.

And this one.

And even this one.