Big Fat Role

In spite of bestowed titles from my previous works, half of my existence struggled because I was always a front liner. As a leader, I was taught to serve–not to dictate.

As a Director, most of my functions were behind the scene, and yet didn’t limit my jurisdiction in the office alone. I taught learners that required long patience, deeper love, and more mercy too.  

Role is just a role, and it is not my nature to work my way up to get that promising recognition. I touch lives directly instead of staying transcendent. I educate anyone, anytime, anywhere regardless of my academic achievements.

When I asked a mega-church pastor (who was a PhD graduate receiving $12,500 USD a month at that time) just a minute of counseling because I was depressed, his response was surprisingly disappointing. “Why me?!” he refused.

I didn’t talk to him after that and until his death. I was not angry or am now either, but that encounter taught me a different perspective. He must have had a reason for such refusal.

Thinking over that one situation at my present age, I realized am just different in my understanding of a title. I usually defy protocol over rally round. For one big reason, it is always a joy to help others in need–who knows it only comes once.

Last week I poured my heart out on Facebook, I posted:

“For a week now over meals, my former boss keeps persuading me to take his huge responsibility as an Executive Director and have me oversee the foundation like my own. But I don’t think I’m ready for such a big fat role. And when I refused telling him to offer it to someone else, he said, ‘I am keeping it until you made up your mind.’ Thank God for rare individuals who see things in me those others don’t. I usually get wrong impressions from others.”

Whether or not I’ll take the offer in the future, my outlook about dealing people in need remains the same. My circumstances might change–for the better or a twist of fate, but not my heart.

A lot of people are so hungry for power or position or fame or money and are willing to go through anything–with heads getting bigger and bigger. I don’t want them.   

It is just a big fat role!