Preserving a Relationship over a Puppy

The arrival of a puppy one Saturday morning brought at least joy to every dog-lover here at the center, and so to me surprisingly. Since I am a dog-phobia freak, then a surprised feeling like this is really acceptable. I insist!

Grown dogs disliked me a lot. Sad to say they are my stressors along the road. Although I fancy bird or cat or fish over a dog but it doesn’t mean I hate dogs. As far as I can remember I have never mistreated nor hurt one. I think I am just so unfortunate having nasty dogs around me.

So much about grown dogs! Let me go back to king-king, a new puppy in the campus.

For the first time I had a sincere attachment to a puppy. Not mine though, but I was always the person this lovely creature looked for every morning. Those pampering and special treatment I had for the puppy won his (king-king) attention.

When everyone gave him a name, my naming stood them all. He listened to me more than he listened to other adorers. Unbelievably he listened to me more than he listened to his owner. Wonder?

Every morning he would come to my bed and woke me up. At times it was so annoying but his fawning was so enticing. What can I do? He was such too cutie to resist and not to care about.

Of course, the story didn’t end there. As he was growing up everyday, the more the craving for food as well - obviously very picky and difficult to feed. For one reason I totally understood because he was just a month old or maybe less when he was brought here – not weaned yet from his mother. So everyday was a discovery for a first timer (a dog lover) like me. Lucky enough king-king was always pleased with my discoveries and ate the food I fed him.

When I thought everything was just right, then the bugging began. It wasn’t the puppy. It was the owner! His responsibility for his pet was always left undone - at all times from breakfast to supper. It was I, it was I and it was I who always took over.

Everyday was like treating a person with amnesia reminding him of a very simple task – FEED THE DOG! For many times, with chances and constant reminders and still his amnesia is uncured, getting worst.

Just a week ago, I gave him another (LAST) chance. Hopingly he would understand since he is no longer a kid – he is a University student so to speak. But it turned out that my admonitions were just clanging cymbals ignored and defied. Intentionally? I don’t know. I’ll leave it to him to think of that.

He is one of the Big Brothers of the kids that I am taking care of at the center. So I was doing my hardest to preserve our relationship because it is just too much to bear. And it was just a puppy problem honestly. I was also doing my best to hold my horses not to say hurtful words just because of puppy issue. But nothing happened.

Then tired and fed up!

So it was time to make a move – in a nice and loving way certainly. After all I don’t want to lose my trust to this boy.

I told him “I am choosing you over the puppy despite of your defiant behavior. I don’t want that our relationship will be broken because of this puppy. And you know what I mean.” Then I gave him the key to my motorbike and asked him to drive the puppy back to his house where it belongs.

He agreed and I was thankful for that spirit.

Yes, it was a difficult decision to make but I have made the right choice. I and the kids are so missing king-king right now. Just tonight, it broke my heart seeing the food for king-king hanged in my room. I bought it this morning and have forgotten to send it on their way home.

The boy is coming back tomorrow morning (without king-king for sure), but I am not that confident if he really appreciated my decision. Sooner or later, I wish he would. For now, what matters most is that I preserved our relationship over a puppy. And that is very soothing.

JUST A YEAR AGO: A Recapitulation from a New Found Home

Sometime in August last year, the boss I worked for at Volunteers International asked me to conduct a TESOL-training to local teachers in an unfamiliar village. The demand was too soon that I had to start right away the weekend. I only had two inquiries to end our coffee-talk. One was about my staying which didn’t really bother me a lot. And the other one was about the RESTROOM which I am very particular about ever since the existence of a nature-call.

Bingo!

I made another speculation right. Two to three weekends was a battle. But that is part of the package if one desires to become an agent of change.

I understand!

“It’s just a temporary discomfort. And I am not going to be here for long.” I reminded my self over and over specially when confronted with this scenario of a rest-room-dilemma. I got no choice. Well, not when I am in Phnom Penh at my own solace place.

Then little by little, a week after week, I learned to set my mind on this two-day-discomfort, and so heartening the inner me of an opposite life-style I always have back in the city. There I have the whole weekdays to enjoy my very clean, very tidy, and very fresh smelling rest room – one of my favorite areas in the house. So give a paradigm shift!

It was just a rest room issue indeed, but it seemed like carrying the whole world on my back. A weekend was like forever to bear. And what if I didn’t learn to let go of my comfort? For sure things would never be the same again. I knew it wouldn’t.

It started just a year ago but all turned in a colorful experience like a tapestry if not for such a decision made. And got some “that’s whens” to tell about…

That’s when I tremendously got to know different individuals, learners, and co-educators who have become a true family and friends along the way - when mere teaching wasn’t enough.

That’s when without defiance had to sleep inside a mosquito net to avoid bites from merciless mosquitoes – outside the house. I hate being confined inside a mosquito net.

That’s when I realized that lotus and water lily are not only grown wild flowers but also vegetables. I have eaten such here almost every day - not to mention all sorts of vegetables we just considered grasses back home.

That’s when birthdays were celebrated in their unique ways - including mine.

That’s when I adopted a son for the first time ever.

That’s when I learned to embrace a father image and take care of kids like my own – now proud to be a daddy.

That’s when in span of year, a very huge first time experiences have learned – mostly were shocking and surprising. Remember the article I have published about crabbing and village hopping?

That’s when my mouth have become used to eating fish in all kinds- both known and unknown.

That’s when I found a new home regardless how uncomfortable the place really is –now a home sweet home.

And that’s when every memory shared is worth reminiscing and recapitulating – an item to thank and praise about.

"THANKS AND PRAISE BE TO THE FATHER"

Yesterday, proud and fulfilled, I told my kids that daddy has been staying here for a year now. Looking back at those odysseys was but manifestations of God’s abounding GRACE. Yet I had to do my part to step a faith to make things happened. I had to stay open to have things learned receptively. And I had to stay patient to be able to spell E-N-D-U-R-A-N-C-E correctly and meaningfully. Then I would be able to see things accomplished.

I had!

Priceless Gift - Your Sincere Thought

It’s not how big or how expensive or how fancy a gift one receives, as always it’s the thought that counts. That if one believes in a priceless gift. I do!

This one goes to the giver as well. You may wrap a gift so BIG only out of responsibility, but then it’s meaningless. One would buy a present costing 6-7 digits price only to please, but then it’s a waste. I may deliver the FANCIEST package on your door only to show, but then it’s pointless. They are nothing compared to sincere thoughts.

I have been passionately involved into educating learners for almost two decades now. But only few students have remembered every significant day of my life – a simple card maybe on my Birth Day or a simple token maybe on Teacher’s Day or maybe a short get-well-soon-note when the teacher is SICK, blah, blah, blah. That if I had to count with my two hands all those individuals who have shown their gratitude in the open.

This is no whining. Just have the urge of expressing these unspoken thoughts of mine – once and for all. As I said, it is the thought that counts. For I do believe in a whispered prayer one inexpressive student can utter. For I still believe in a teacher’s lasting impact to one busy student would reminisce when time is no longer tight. For I always believe in a hidden love one shy student can do. And I strongly believe that every individual is thoughtful in his or her own way.

One thing that hasn’t happened in my past birthdays was receiving bulk of gifts. But thankful enough, I was surrounded with thoughtful people who had rejoiced with me in both silent and loud celebrations. Their thoughtfulness had taught me to be joyful still even when pockets were emptied. That’s when I also learned to be appreciative of the many wishes, of their endless prayers, of somebody’s sweet and harsh admonishes, and of friend’s touching encouragements amidst drought. This is not to sweet-lemon the scenario. I mean it, really!

So how will these pictures of colorful gifts justify all these?

Well, these are from thoughtful kids I have been taking cared of. Some wrapped and decorated the presents themselves. “What’s in there?” Hmm, I can hear your curious minds. Every box was at least filled with few sachets of coffee. Yes! You heard me right – crisp and clear.

Of course, how can daddy enjoy a hot drink without a mug to hold? It was another box from a thoughtful girl who has been waiting to see me sip a coffee from her present. I did with a thankful heart.

As I unpacked every colorful box big and small not a single why I asked because I knew what this gesture exactly signifies. We both know that I love drinking coffee every single day. And this is what I am talking about – kids have learned to remember things that I like. Sooner or later they will also learn to value what other people value. As simple as this and yet very touching.

What else? Oh, I received a cute, black torchlight (flashlight) during my birthday, surprisingly unexpected. For sure the giver knows that I go to the bathroom a lot from night to dawn. So torchlight might help lights the way off from snakes or scorpions or cow’s dung. I was planning to buy one lately but so kind and thoughtful of him.

And? Oh, some red and blue pens. I don’t need more actually but from the perspective of thoughtful learner teacher does need pens in season and out of season, whatever kind. This is more of being thoughtful than just a mere giver. I think so!

At times, an act of thoughtfulness will not be associated with giving or gift-giving if you prefer, but let us remind ourselves that it is the thought that counts. And there is nothing meaningful and heartwarming than a priceless gift from a sincere thought.

Be thoughtful!