Define Patriotism

Neither elegant attires nor spoken languages could ever define one’s love of a country. No, it doesn’t stop here because it takes a selfless sacrifice to prove that–not necessarily embracing noble deeds. One could speak a million tongues but it doesn’t make that person a hero. One could be devoted to wearing traditional costumes but it doesn’t make that person lionhearted. There is more to these outside manifestations that meets the eye–it is the goodness that counts. For even a lowly civil servant or an altruistic educator can do change the world. It is a tried and true reality believed for countless times, for a thousand years.

Shopgony

This is how I would define the word shopping–someone’s joy but somebody’s agony. While other find pleasure buying this and that, walking from here to there just to gratify themselves from collecting stuff not free, I agonize and detest this kind of activity. I don’t know, but I am not just a fan of this necessary errand. P-E-T-P-E-E-V-E to cut to the chase or the way I would spell it. It took me the whole SM to find the pants I needed for my interview on Monday. Not to mention the hard times looking for an exact size and a cut that would fit me. Laugh out loud, but only stores in Cambodia sell my size. Oh, let me invent another crazy thought to describe the word in particular–it is shopgony (from two combined lexicon: shop and agony).

Worth the Live and Learn

Although it’s not every experience worth the live and learn, but there us such kind that deserves an encore or an endless applause–perhaps to learn a thing or two. Capture that moment and treasure it like there is no tomorrow. Learn from every rare opportunity because they come for a reason–they come once in a million–to teach us, inspire us, and break us necessarily for the better. Jot them down in our hearts, not just by memory but by action until we get familiar with it. Some people call it a day-to-day experience or a journey if you prefer. Life in reality has a lot of these to give, but you just have to listen attentively to what men and women of the world have to demonstrate both in spoken words and in deeds–they are those who have been there, done that. Some of us had to learn it at an early age while the rest are the opposite, but it doesn’t matter for we learn in season and out. We learn in every ticking of the clock. After all, it is never too late to learn. I was told.

A Rare Afternoon

As far as we know, even before creativity was at its zenith, sitting at the feet of scholars or experts in any fields do not evolve in a seemingly suffocating four-walled classrooms alone. Both educators and learners themselves have gone against the tide in the name of education–in aggression–whether or not it was a life-long learning. A casual discussion over lunch and a simple coffee talk are only a few of these examples or, better yet, defiance. I had to go to UP Diliman to meet a professor, a God-fearing man and a genius. For one reason, I thought, to wrap up the upcoming excursion and cultural exposure of the selected youth from Cambodia in October this year here in the Philippines. But it turned out a rare afternoon instead–in a positive and an unexpected way. Before I realized it, I found myself sitting at the feet of a filmmaker, a movie director, a novelist, a musical scorer and a theater enthusiast. Al I had to do was listened attentively and tried to be receptive enough. There were ahs and ohs–when eureka and jaw dropping moments were like unending. Many times they spoke in the language of an alien while I prayed my hardest not to lose my sanity, and prayed for God’s grace to get even a bit of a grasp about what they were trying to deliver. Things they had learned for years and years, they laid down before me in just four hours. That unusual encounter was a gift without a doubt from heaven above.

Weddings in July

Grateful honored, and blessed to see it with my own eyes as couples exchanged their solemn vows in holy moments–in celebration of love. It was another milestone conceived through courtship and commitment to love for life–for better or for worse. Three happy days in July, when a month was both graced with elegance and simplicity, with colors and beauty, with rejoicing and tears of joy, with dancing and feasting–all these for the unconditional love of the brides and grooms I have known for years and years. I had to fly miles and miles just to be a part of these important days of their lives. And I am so glad to have made it. Each wedding told me a different story–the beauty of waiting; of grace and miracle; perfection in imperfection–what the Maker had planned long to knit every couple together no one could tear them apart. Blessings on your new journey as husbands and wives.  

Beautiful Weirdness

Do they really think they can predict what is on my mind? I am so grateful that the Father above is not transcendent. But your state of grace creeps me out–it grieves my heart rather. Undeniably, we do have different orientations or statuses in life because we clashed the way we understood things. OK, I’ll buy it this time. So call me weird for trying to be praxis or doing things out of the ordinary–not in the way you thought they would be, but we call it goodness or kindness or mercy where I come from. Please remind me because I can no longer recall how many individuals whom I didn’t know personally and yet had messaged me, called me, and even met me in person for favors big and small. They were never strangers–not even weird individuals–because they were God’s sent that I might grasp the meaning of serving, giving, blessing and honoring my Master through this encounter. It was all God’s grace.

     

Unspoken Words

For the past few weeks, my own words have been confined deep within me, unspoken–wondering what went wrong–driven by things unknown. Now I understand the reasons why. They were meant to be suppressed temporarily. I had to keep them even if it was against my will. I had to do it in a peaceful way or else things could have been the irony. As if the effort to utter spoken words right then could help. Silence for many instances–like this time–it truly matters. Never mind how many times it would occur, just learn the art of it once in a while.

Transient Again

In my short lifetime, the word transient has never been obsolete because our journey on earth is full of this stage–it comes on and off whenever and wherever the destiny pleases. It is an experience that many of us would like to look back or ignore perhaps. When that particular time is over, we do have our own choices to make–to dwell on that beautiful memory if not move on from that nightmare. Life as a transient is like a treasure hunting at times–we take out the good ones from the hidden box or keep the rest necessarily and unravel them in due time. I am a transient again–for now, but I know it is not going for long. And let me take life as it is for a while.

First Time

We all run into these first things or first times of our lives. Life has a lot of these unexpected encounter to learn or even to be angry about. You choose your response. In my decades of traveling and flying, it was only during this recent trip back home I experienced ever an odd situation (but a norm to many passengers) my stuff being stolen, and went home with a broken luggage. But I have chosen to let it go this time. I am not praying to come across for more of this though–a very disappointing first-time circumstance, but I pray for more improvements including safety at the airfields. I can’t typecast every worker or generalize this latest experience of mine, I just wish that every airport will produce trustworthy workmen. I know, it is hope against hope. I won’t name names here–not this time, but let God’s grace works through me and whoever did it. Hopefully, there will be no more first time like this in the future flights.

It Is Home

I am back home–for good. Funny it may seem, but from the past four days until this hour, there has been a strange feeling coming over me–that reality called isolation. Don’t judge me, but I can’t help to feel like an alien in my own homeland. One, I have been away for a very long period of time. This isn’t the first, but I always had this feeling whenever I was here–this time is no difference. I know the exact reason for this and have prepared myself even to the worst scenario, and yet this eerie feeling keeps coming back so often, disturbing. When this truth gets to me, I just have to remind myself, I think, that I still belong here and this is where I should be. I pray for God’s grace.

    

Chock-full

The last ten days of May were so exhausting to go through. Aside from four flights to mind, visa issues to tackle, a big conference in Southeast Asia to attend, and a few more important stuff to care about–had to be done in a short time–all chock-full of busy life, going home for good was also trying to steal the show. For the first time in my existence had to sleep late every single night during those times, the remaining ten days of last month’s. Although it was worth the effort, but my body almost gave in. left me worn out like I’d never been my entire life. What an experience to endure!  

Up to Us

Failures and defeats are right around the corner–they’re only a short distance away. As always, they have been trying to coexist with humans and living side by side with us a decade after another in order to give us the precious lessons of our lives. But it is up to us to take every bit of it (the failure or defeat) a loss forever or a gain towards glory.

A Particular World

Miss this particular world–where chasing a circular thing always makes me feel like the healthiest person ever. I think gained unnecessary weight so much. “Quitter never wins!” I can hear my mind speaks–in unceasing admonition. Yay!

Choir

Nostalgia got to me as I was listening to a particular oratorio tonight. It brought me back to my olden days–took a trip down memory lane when singing in a choir truly played a big part in my life. More than all those words and music to learn by heart, for every note and sign to read with my eyes, and for each symbol and dynamic my mind to comprehend–it was the message of His song which is still real until this time–and it will always be true without a doubt.

Time

Who understands the ticking of the clock so well? I do not think I do. Although it runs constantly as it seems–to those who know little and care less about it–yet we don’t really get the same speed every time. It flies and then it lazes around. When time runs, it rushes your fences. It worries me so much what the future might become. And when it slows down, it bores me to death. I raced against it yesterday. I’m waiting like forever today. Then I’ll have it speak for itself tomorrow.  Sometimes it is easy to get by with time. At times it is out-and-out the irony. A second or a minute or an hour–it is just the evolution of time, but it concerns me when it passes by.  

Dignity

There would be awkward moments in your life–so, so unnerving it would feel when you just had to do something beneath your dignity for the sake of something good. I don’t know your story, but somehow it would hurt that self-important trait within you–when shame really stung to death. But you’ve got your reason or a few to cling to. You have tried because you knew this was better than feeding your own vanity–you realized that pride comes before a fall.   

False Friends

Now that I have reached my age–with various epochs to count–and still hopeful for more years, I wouldn’t be surprised to see false friends would walk away and only a few would stay. Reality had proven this right long ago even before I was born. Alas, I have seen it my eyes not only once. As if I care, I live to tell the tale.

Pride

When pride gets to you, it stings through your inner soul until it forfeits your happiness and purpose for living. But it depends how long one allows this smugness to dwell in him. It burns your skin and it throbs your body unbearably that you just want to rebut the accuser immediately. Don’t baby your pride and before you know it, you are already defeated.

  

Servant Attitude

Only the mortified and the self-effacing spirit will truly understand the true essence of a servant attitude. This I remind myself from day-to-day. It’s in humility one would learn to serve others in spite of what he or she has become. It’s in embracing emptiness one would learn to swallow his or her pride and simply be a servant. Yes, and be a servant–where achievement or prominence is no longer the sixty-four-dollar question. I won’t expect anyone to believe this, but I’ll say it anyway–take it or leave it.

Below the Surface

Even the persons you hold dear would still read your life below the surface the same as anybody else. They would still judge you (oh, that’s too strong) or see your circumstance the way they thought it's like–not necessarily in your favor. So be it and learn to deal with such appraisal. Any way you slice it, everyone feels entitled to an opinion.  

A Secret Leave-taking

I just ticked off another goal on my lists this year. My next move was to spill the beans to some important people. Of course, friends are friends no matter what and they deserve to know. As much as I desired, a quiet exit would be better–a secret leave-taking. No, I don’t think that telling everyone about my decision to turn homeward would make a world of difference to my situation or to my future–not this time. They will figure it out when everything is in place.  

Fourties

They say life begins at forty, but I see the opposite way–for now–a very strange manifestation from time to time for the past few years. Stuck in a lesser opportunity–that is one. It seems that my life in the fast lane has all gone. It suddenly slowed down and still leaving me with an awful feeling of dread in the pit of the stomach until this hour. I pray that this is only part of growing older and wiser. I am over forty in this world.

No More Expectation

Yes, I won’t expect anything from anyone ever.  This will be my life-long slogan from this moment on. Hurts, frustrations, disappointments, and distresses will eat me up when I hold on to people’s word too much. And so I am putting this memo into words specifically addressed to me–no one else but to myself alone. I deserve sanity.  

Drained

There were times when my mind was emptier than a banker’s heart–so wordless. I couldn’t think of any reason about my existence–not even a word–it only drew a blank stare. Like this time–again. My mind is so drained that it affects my emotion so bad. It stings my soul devastatingly painful. I wonder if this just the effect from severe heat these days. I hope so! 

Patience

This eight-letter word is my greatest enemy in life because I wrestled with it a lot of times like a defeated warrior--worn out. I have been in this world for over four decades, but I have not completely fathomed its meaning and what it is to be a patient man like--I could have learned it by now--but my spirit keeps resisting.