Beginnings

For every human being that exists on this terrestrial ball has learned to walk before he or she could run. We all have our own beginnings to tell the world. And for every lesson I tried to absorb and spent time hitting the books, and then lived it to a failure and a success–each started off with ABC. Whenever I was upset about my learners (and prayed to have the patience of a saint), just had to remind myself how I used to crawl for innumerable times only to get this far. Yes, I still do this until these days and for as long as my task as an educator is needed. This remedy which I called a-must-pacifier is a very effective way dealing with some challenging learners. It cools me down.

“What could I possibly learn from these students?” I asked myself this question a few hours ago. Everything about them is raw–for now I’m sure. Each is a young hand at plowing, mostly in a playful mood, young at heart, and so studious–still undergoing a metamorphosis. But I once was very alike and barely had enough–so inexperience in many things, a late bloomer, and immature and naïve kid, and as poor as church mice–had only metamorphosed through God’s grace. I don’t even remember if I was an old head on young shoulders. No, I never had an insightful behavior as a kid. And so, to answer my own query, I learned a few things: love higher than the sky, patience deeper the ocean, and understanding wider than the universe. Isn’t it what our Father in heaven wants us to do the same?   

Persimmon

I eat every fruit as far as I am aware of my lifestyle–but not the forbidden fruit. Sorry, I’m not that humorous. Although I devour almost every kind, those that I know and had seen for the first time, but I’m no conscious-freak of the benefit they give to my body. I just eat them because they’re undeniably healthy. This makes me a fruit-eater I think. Of course, wild and tropical fruit are always the best according to my taste buds and in my eyes.

This time, I’ve just got a new favorite fruit. It is persimmon. In fact, I’d never seen or eaten one growing up, it was only when I got here in Cambodia for the first time way back in 2003. My colleague introduced this strange edible thing to me. I liked it since then although I don’t crave for it that much. Yesterday I had one at breakfast and so this morning before lunch. I’ll still have a piece a day for the next seventy-two hours. Then I will try to have more for as long as they are still available in the market. I don’t remember how much I’ve scoffed all in all the past fourteen years, but I had a lot to be sure about it. Why is it my favorite fruit now? One big reason–so important reason, is the good effect and help it causes your entire body. I asked this question a few times, but I only had the interest to Google it this afternoon. The benefits what one can get from eating persimmon has surprised me big time. There are eleven to eighteen good stuff at least to know. Just Google it yourself if you are still incognizant of these true facts. For me, and health wise, I fell for it.  

Reading Novels

Reading novels is really not my cup of tea. Well, it’s a half-truth confession. I had indulged in the past eight thousand seven hundred sixty days of my life, once in a while, perhaps not more than a hundred books in total. It all depended on the mood and the story–not so much of an author. For some reason, I couldn’t stand the agony of a thrill which forced me to exert efforts to match my supposition with the writer’s clever plot and interesting sequel. And so flipping pages till the end not missing any paragraph just to find out what is there awaits to expect–whether or not it is a satisfying twist. Most of the time I gave up, but not this time.

Had finished reading a thirty-seven-chapter novel early tonight. It was another one in a month, but browsing through the book seemed forever. Thought I could gulped it down in just a day. It took me two days instead. Glad it was worth the persistence. Why this book? Because it is the only pleasurable left to read–the rest I already took advantage of these previous months. Lastly, I’m fast and impatient reader, and reading novels takes a lot of energy and time too. Of course, if I had another choice, I won’t hesitate to leave this one unread for the time being. It didn’t happen this way but let this book, "The Couple Next Door", engulfed me interestingly, unresistant. I am not faking it though, I did enjoy it. Recommended.        

Future

Future

More often than not, a lot of people I know perceive destiny as a fact of life while others try to shape the future the way they wanted it to be; the rest is a mixture of both. Wish I had all the answers to every wondering mind, but even myself is struggling to grasp everything around me–it’s another of life’s great mysteries.

I may be old enough in this temporary world, but I am still at an in-between stage and have not fully conceived the very purpose of my own existence yet including lives not mine. In short, I am not the man of the world–no, not yet.

Early Nostalgia

Homesickness brought me in YouTube yesterday. My soul was so desperate to hear a song in particular–a Christmas one. As soon as I played that three-year-old revival record, sang by my favorite artist, I felt Noel is calling me home. I listened to it until I napped the afternoon away. And when I got up from that long siesta, I still had the same song in my mind. It was the first one I enjoyed and also the LSS (Last Song syndrome) of the day.

Funny me, but I have had it on repeat the whole day from noon until evening. It was my lullaby for my nap and was the rhythm for my exercise and my soul’s only MRS (Most Requested Song) all through dinner. What an early nostalgia! Because going home for Christmas is already in my bucket lists this year. I’m just kind of excited and can’t wait to spend time with my family and friends back there for this long awaited season. For now, let this early, nostalgic drama gets me. I’m beginning to count my remaining days in this current work place.  

Unearthed Hidden Treasures

Have you ever planted sweet potatoes or watermelons? That unspeakable joy gets you when you see them grew, and then had buds, bloomed, and finally bore fruit. Uprooting or picking each crop is like you unearthed hidden treasures–it felt so, so great.

The same way with my journey as an educator. I planted seeds of goodness and kindness in the hearts of people without really knowing what comes next.  And when harvest happens, you just cannot contain your emotions–it is overflowing with rejoicing–it truly is. Keep sowing goodness and kindness day in, day out without expecting in return. 

Monkhood

This is only a mock photo. No, I wasn't wearing a robe, I just covered my learner's robe around my chest.

What if I’d wake up one morning like this–caught up in an existence hasn’t even crossed my wildest imagination–not even once?  Would unkind words echo like a roaring thunder or would I hear nothing but a deafening silence of condemnation? I could feel the sting of a wounded heart through ridicules from the world I’ve known while the other side of the world is in constant jubilation. I knew it. It had to be this way. Of course, I am aware ever since I got here that this is someone’s path but somebody’s inquisition–only a minute of pretense for once in my life.  

Please don’t get me wrong, please don’t. I have a deep respect for monks and Buddhism in fact–deeper than the ocean, but I can’t be one of them for a billion reasons. And whatever justification I have in mind, let it be gone with the wind. Classroom, hi-and-bye rapport, taking photos in selfie and groupie, teacher-learners acquaintances, and typical chats–we were always just this close. To be in a monkhood? No, it isn’t  my world.

Life-long Learners

It doesn’t really matter whether you are sitting on your comfortable sofa with your favorite books to read or when you’re in a rocking chair on a front porch trying to journal your day or simply standing on a veranda at late night stargazing. No, I don’t care a hoot if someone is a big fan of a four-walled classroom and likes to spend the time there eternally or steps outside that space to learn significant things including bits and pieces.  And I’m not in the position to judge whether or not a lot of people are deeply engaged in a corporate world trying to beat the demand–where competitiveness is a real game and pressure is a challenge. When the rest only need typical things to get by–because not everyone is born with such complex lifestyle. After all, every lesson learned from both different point of view is vital.

Who cares if you are sitting next to the prominent ones in a seemingly current and relevant conference or having a coffee talk with the famous person in the society or better yet, having a small chat with familiar faces including strangers in busy streets? Does it really matter? Because everything about it and behind this is called life-long learning–we are life-long learners–an experience in the simplest word.